tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2462996093553482132024-03-19T04:59:45.204-07:00Ramble About WritingRamble about Writing is where one writer, namely Jesse Pohlman, goes to ramble about his chosen art form, which is writing! Man, that's a lot of writing. Maybe we should write about it...Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-246299609355348213.post-5390154315294838162014-01-21T23:10:00.004-08:002014-01-21T23:13:58.699-08:00On Homosexuality In Sports: A Fabulous Pursuit!So, the NFL is doing a thing about Jerry Smith, one of the first Football players to come out (even anonymously) and talk about homosexuality in the NFL. <a href="http://www.nfl.com/videos/a-football-life/0ap2000000316202/A-Football-Life-Jerry-Smith-Private-life-becomes-public">You can find a link to the source video I stumped upon here</a>. What's fascinating is that, at one point in the film, Charley Taylor (a former Redskin) is talking about the Redskins' reputation for having the most gay guys. He says, "we had like 12." Not only did Jerry's teammates all know he was gay, and not only did they fail to give a damn, but <i>other</i> teams knew it and didn't much care, either. I had to stop in the middle of the video simply because I got lost in a train of thought, and I therefore needed to ramble!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGC3ad2m0AxjSlm6noVF6kaaKBF5C34gjrKuvgKgFHx7SKEB7M1GcomUqyHBegwk3tfs4W923ASfHrsu591Zi32c6YtMs7X5pANUB50BaD34oLlXTU0ihc4YKmRMcD5rGnM3mJpyUUoeg/s1600/smith_jerry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGC3ad2m0AxjSlm6noVF6kaaKBF5C34gjrKuvgKgFHx7SKEB7M1GcomUqyHBegwk3tfs4W923ASfHrsu591Zi32c6YtMs7X5pANUB50BaD34oLlXTU0ihc4YKmRMcD5rGnM3mJpyUUoeg/s1600/smith_jerry.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jerry Smith; image courtesy of Redskins.com</td></tr>
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<b>Gays in Sports - Who cares? Well, sometimes, bad people do.</b><br />
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If you somehow think this is a new thing, or that somehow the NFL has regressed in terms of gay-to-straight ratios, or that the old line about the Quarterback loving when he gets the snap by putting his hands between the center's legs, near his rear end, think again. His team-mates may have known, but Smith was deeply afraid of the media finding out and publicizing his true self. It turns out he had good reason! <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glenn_Burke">People often forget that Glenn Burke</a> was the first active-roster, publicly-acknowledged homosexual of at least the modern era (late 1970's) to play in Major League Baseball. He claimed his team didn't care, but the managerial staff certainly did - he was traded, his playing time was cut, and he was given little opportunity to rehabilitate from a knee injury before being cut. Whatever his team-mates may have believed,<br />
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To even be affiliated with the struggle for equal protection for homosexuality can severely cripple a career - <a href="http://deadspin.com/i-was-an-nfl-player-until-i-was-fired-by-two-cowards-an-1493208214">just ask Chris Kluwe</a>!<br />
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Chris Kluwe is one of my all-time favorite sportsmen, even though he has effectively retired from the NFL. Aside from being a World of Warcraft player, Redditor, and <a href="http://shadowrun.wikia.com/wiki/Mr._Kluwe">getting an avatar in Shadowrun Returns</a>, he was two incredible things: The best punter in Minnesota Vikings franchise history, and an outspoken defender of gay rights. Kluwe alleges that, as a result of his passionate support of equality, his immediate supervisor - special teams coach Mike Priefer - would frequently launch anti-homosexual tirades, including, allegedly, that gays should be packed together on an island and nuked.<br />
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<b>Why Do Sports Matter? This.</b><br />
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Asking some of my socially-conscious friends about sports is often an adventure in soliciting migraines. The most popular arguments I hear are about how they get paid so much to play a game, while teachers/nurses/fire-fighters/cops make so little money. There's a valid point there, but being a professional athlete affords people a platform.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5LNXEt2PlABALqwbF6zLcMwR0etGcttDGGS83vHe4FIS93a4ibJwJdaC4EPuf4ePQbns_FxuH95PmdcamI-XKuE-pXix9iGFSxt5xZeKqZIyN4iI3eJ7s54TIydFLA1xkhAz14haGQAs/s1600/536px-Chris_Kluwe_2012-12-30.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5LNXEt2PlABALqwbF6zLcMwR0etGcttDGGS83vHe4FIS93a4ibJwJdaC4EPuf4ePQbns_FxuH95PmdcamI-XKuE-pXix9iGFSxt5xZeKqZIyN4iI3eJ7s54TIydFLA1xkhAz14haGQAs/s1600/536px-Chris_Kluwe_2012-12-30.jpg" height="320" width="286" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Image courtesy of Wikipedia; underneath that helmet is one handsome, hot man. I'm okay with that.</span></span></td></tr>
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Sometimes, that platform is just used to make money; maybe the player uses it simply to escape their own impoverished backgrounds. Other times, it's to raise money for former athletes who <i>didn't</i> make the same mega-bucks, but <i>did</i> come away with a larger share of life-long injuries; or, they donate it to their high schools, as I've seen numerous times in Freeport thanks to Clifton Smith and D'Brickashaw Ferguson. Still other times, a sportsman will stand up and speak out in favor of equality, or perhaps they'll promote children's gym classes.<br />
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For what it's worth, Kluwe is married with a child. I raise this point solely because his activation has fueled <a href="http://www.ibtimes.com/chris-kluwe-gay-former-vikings-punter-alleges-letter-he-was-fired-being-same-sex-marriage-advocate">speculation that he, <i>himself</i>, is homosexual</a>. Speaking one's mind carries risks, I suppose? Admittedly, Kluwe's career prospects may been damaged as a result of his speaking out on a "political" issue. (How is equal protection political, again?) Even if the Vikings owner was encouraging of his behavior, other teams might not have been so generous, as Glenn Burke found out the hard way. Kluwe also may have signed, as part of his players' contract, some form of rules-of-engagement with the media - I don't know, I'm not a contract lawyer. That's not the grounds he was originally let go under, of course, so at this point it becomes too much of a speculative ramble for it's own good. All I can do is say he's fighting for what he believes in, and he has surely given up on a great deal of money to do so.<br />
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<b>The Image of Athletes in Society Always Changes.</b><br />
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Let's instead bring this back to where we began: The premise of gays in sports. The truth is, these players are not "converting" to homosexuality after they play. Smith himself never acknowledged his homosexuality in public; <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerry_Smith_(American_football)">it was only after his death at the hands of AIDS that his nature was revealed</a>. While those close to him knew, his fans were surely surprised to hear it. I think, ultimately, that's what it's about.<br />
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A freshman psychology student could figure out that fans build an image of their sporting idols in their heads, and that image is acid-etched into the fan's mind. They imprint themselves into that image, and draw parallels between their heroes and themselves. I happen to love Peyton Manning. His style of football is just my kind of game, since he thinks his way to victory. Seriously - watch him call plays! He reminds me of Bart Starr, not that I was alive to watch <i>him</i> play. I see that he doesn't have the same physical gifts he did a decade ago, but he makes up for it with his knowledge. I like to believe I do something similar in my own life.<br />
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So, how would I feel if I found out Peyton was gay? ...I wouldn't care, except perhaps that I'd be proud to hear he was so brave. But, rest assured, <i>lots</i> of people would see their "reflection" in Peyton crack as their idol suddenly becomes something they aren't quite as comfortable with. Maybe they don't hate homosexuals, but they just don't know how to deal with this sudden paradigm shift. (As an aside, I guess my worst "fear" for Peyton would be to discover he was on performance-enhancing drugs. Remember the Alex Rodriguez backlash? Yeah, that, only for <i>Peyton</i>. <i>My Peyton!</i>) (As another aside, I also only care about PEDs in the context of everyone having <i>equal access</i>; I imagine a future where players have computers in their heads, doing physics equations on interception patterns, and having cybernetic limbs to boot, so that's me.)<br />
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Yet, underneath it all, I like to imagine that <i>when</i> an NFL player is ready to come out, they will ultimately find an opportunity for relief as they can finally be true to themselves. Jerry Smith did an anonymous interview with a reporter where he described the horrible reality of his situation: Sure, those who knew he was gay didn't outwardly care, but he knew that if the wrong people found out, his career could be in serious trouble. He'd soon see this fear was justified! But an end to the double-life? An end to the anxiety, the edginess, the fear of being outed? The certainty of knowing, instead of worrying?<br />
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Well, maybe that's what a fan should want for their sports star, no matter how vividly we use them as an object of fantasy, and no matter how vicariously we live through them.<br />
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<b>Jesse Pohlman is a writer from Freeport, NY. He is the author of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0615591566/">Physics Incarnate, a science-fiction novel</a> available from Amazon in paperback or Kindle formats. Or, <a href="http://www.jessepohlman.com/">click this link to check out his new webpage</a>!</b><br />
<b><br /></b><b>Thank you for reading!</b>Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-246299609355348213.post-55461766987024046312013-11-14T09:54:00.002-08:002013-11-14T09:54:34.780-08:00Five Suggestions For Rimworld!Hello, video game fans!<br />
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Thanks in large part to perhaps my favorite Lets Player of them all, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6buo7G1OZw">Scott Manley</a> (best known for his work playing Kerbal Space Program and being, y'know, a real astrophysicist), I discovered a new game called <a href="http://rimworldgame.com/">Rimworld. It is produced by Ludeon Studios</a>, in particular by a gentleman named Tynan Sylvester. It's an extremely early-stage game, having just completed a Kickstarter campaign to raise funds for its development. They've released a pre-alpha build to donors, and it feels more complete than many might suspect.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lots of fire? That's about right for a first colony. Via <a href="http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2013/10/04/outer-limits-rimworld-lands-on-kickstarter/">RockPaperShotgun.com</a>.</td></tr>
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<b>The Basics Of Rimworld</b><br />
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You, as the player, start off with three folks who crash-land on an alien planet. You get to click a "randomize" button until you get three colonists you're happy with, and this is important because those first three guys will determine if you live or die <i>real</i> fast. If you somehow get three people who cannot build, you're done. If you get three who cannot serve as a warden for captured enemies, you will never be able to recruit new allies. Over time, you eventually can recruit new allies and expand your colony.<br />
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As for the threats you'll face, they are generated by a "storyteller," similar to the AI Director in Left 4 Dead. This is probably an early-in-the-cycle AI setup, and the number of situations you can expect are slightly diverse, but begging for more variety. Your main enemy will be the raiders who invade on a regular basis. Fine! When they start off way too strong for you, that's not so fun. And, the fact that they're usually the only actual threat to your colony is a bit disappointing: Solar flares prevent <i>all</i> electronics from working (with no defense against it), eclipses cut the power production of your solar panels, and random short circuits keep you patching things up...But that's not a threat, really. Then again, the fact is, this game is very early in development.<br />
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<a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1qjoe2/we_are_the_makers_of_kerbal_space_program_ask_us/">Bearing in mind that in a recent Reddit AMA the designers of Kerbal Space Program, Squad</a>, said one of their top pet peeves was when fans say, "just do this one thing, it'll be so easy!," here's my five suggestions for the long-term development of this game as it moves from a pre-alpha to a finished product. After all, I put my money into their project, I get to have my say even if I know I might later be overruled! Plus, the game can use the buzz. ;)<br /><br /><br />
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<b>#1: Technological Development</b></h3>
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Research exists in the game, of course, but it is largely ornamental. The basic elements of your colonists are already developed - they can mine into solid rock as soon as they land, apparently Minecraft style. You can research advanced picks that speed up the mining process, but you never have to produce or equip them. Your characters might be bad shots, but they can quickly acquire firearms either from dead raiders or trade ships.<br />
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I picture a game where technological development is a little more essential. Imagine if <i>you</i> were stranded on an alien planet with nothing but some raw materials from your crash-landed ship. Even if you have the talent to build a hut and start developing technology, it might be tough for you to get all that done, all at once.<br />
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My suggestion here is simple: Start folks off at rock bottom. I'm not saying we need to stay at the bottom long - especially if we have a scientist in the group! I'm just saying we need to have a little balance. Instead of having wildly available firearms (Except perhaps in an "easy mode" setting), have characters start with bows and arrows or swords. Colonists should have to produce their gear. Speaking of...<br />
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<b>#2: Equipment Management</b></h3>
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Again, this is a very early build. Right now the only equip-able items are firearms. That's fine! But, as the game develops, the following slots should open up...</div>
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- Armor (Possibly even powered armor at some point).</div>
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- Melee weapon (including mining pick, because a mining pick to the head fucking hurts!).</div>
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- Ranged weapon, perhaps even including stun guns. NOT including grenades, though.</div>
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- Miscellaneous item, such as ground-penetrating radar for finding mineral deposits, or fragmentation grenades.</div>
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The idea here is not to over-complicate matters, but rather to include additional immersion and options into the game. Instead of having equipment presumed to be on a character, like how the "pneumatic picks" technology simply adds 20% to mining effectiveness, they should be items that are physically equipped. Again, if it'll split a rock, it'll serve as a melee weapon!</div>
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Also on that note, a colony should be able to produce many of its own goods and needs, equipment wise. As the tech tree advances, it may be hard to advance the research cause too quickly. Just getting up to automatic firearms may be tough, and a player might wish to invest in food growth and processing instead. So, they can produce basic arms but if they want to really upgrade their armies, they should have to trade for it.</div>
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<b>#3: Expanded Storyteller Elements</b></h3>
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So, we know that there is an AI storyteller that governs matters, but there's plenty of ways that the game can be expanded and improved. Right now, the main threat to your colonists is raiders. They come in waves, and usually the first two are single-sucker affairs that end quickly. The third wave, inexplicably, can be six raiders strong - six raiders who are all very skilled and very well armed!</div>
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Instead, assuming we're working from a lower technological level to begin with, the storyteller AI could decide that there is a nearby group of natives who might be exiled from their main group. These one to three people could be approached and either recruited to join the colony, or - if they are hostile, or if you lack a socially talented colonist - could need to be eliminated before conflict emerges. Later on, that native group might come by to inquire what happened. If they're dead, that may be a problem - or, they may thank you, as those three may have been crooks! If they're alive, well, they might demand you release them, even if they choose to be with you.</div>
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Other possibilities include adding predatory animals that can provide an early-on threat, meteor showers that damage equipment and reveal new sources of minerals, or waves of sickness which incapacitate your colonists and throw off the flow of work. Also, instead of always getting raiders, you might watch as another group of colonists arrive to build their own base, and you might have to decide if you can live together - or, if you have to become the raider, yourself!</div>
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Much of this leads to...</div>
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<b>#4: Improved Use Of Colonists</b></h3>
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Right now, I feel like my colonists are only under my control when they are drafted. Sometimes this is simply because they follow what is honestly pretty impressive (if under-optimized) automated scripts. Others, however, I feel like it's because some of my colonists don't really, uhh, do much. I have a noblewoman, for example, who does nothing but sit on her rear and eat our food. She doesn't build things, she doesn't haul them, and all she does is play warden to any prisoners we get and maybe call up a visiting star-ship. She used to do research, but we're done with the tech tree, so she's pretty useless day-in and day-out. Fun, huh?</div>
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Well, we <i>also</i> just recruited a former raider whose ability to work is even less. Literally, he exists to shoot things. That's fine! It would be nice, however, if I could assign my soldier guy a place to patrol. Maybe his job is to stand guard at the gates of our town and make sure we're safe? That'd make sense, right? Instead, he wanders aimlessly around unless I draft him, at which point I forget to un-draft him and he starves himself and fails to sleep.</div>
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By adding in other factions, like natives or other colonists (and possibly even raiders!), having a nobleman-type character would be essential because they could negotiate from a point of advantage. Obviously the other faction may be biased against me, but at least they'd have something useful to do.</div>
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<b>#5: More, more, more!</b></h3>
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Yep, that's about the best I can come up with. The important thing with a game like Rimworld, now that it's <a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/tynansylvester/rimworld">made over 250,000 Canadian Dollars on Kickstarter</a>, is that it needs to put out content. It has a ModDB page, but no mods yet - and unlike Kerbal Space Program (we'll get to <i>you!</i>), it doesn't seem very mod-friendly, so far. But, I could be very wrong. I'm not much of a coder.</div>
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When a good, well-reviewed mod is produced, it could be incorporated into the game's official build. Maybe some of that kickstarter money could be used in a "bounty" system. No, not like the New Orleans Saints! Instead, if someone makes a <i>very</i> good mod, it could be brought into the game and the mod's developer could be given either some sort of promotional award, or a small payment for services rendered. That would really set the community going!</div>
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Well, that's it for me. Try Rimworld, it's a great time sink with incredible promise!</div>
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<b>Jesse Pohlman is a writer living in Freeport, New York. He's self-published a number of novels available in Paperback and/or Kindle. You space fans might enjoy <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BK77V86">Protostar: Memoirs of the Messenger</a>, a Kindle exclusive! Or, if you'd rather something a bit present-tense, try the super-hero stylings of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00702TU98">Physics Incarnate</a>!</b><br />
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<b>Thank you for reading!</b>Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-246299609355348213.post-55063577907956456182013-11-01T14:31:00.002-07:002013-11-01T14:32:45.976-07:00National Novel Writing Month 2013 Begins! Hello, everyone!<br />
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It's that time of year again! I'm gonna be blogging my progress as often as I can, when I make some! This weekend'll be tough; tomorrow I'm actually doing an interview for a webTV show! So, expect me to be in catch-up-mode on Sunday! This is my third time doing NaNo, and in 2011 I "won" it! <a href="http://rambleaboutwriting.blogspot.com/2011/10/national-novel-writing-month-nanowrimo.html">Read all about it here</a>.<br />
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For now, my word count is: 1,743! That's juussttt ahead of the 1,666.6666666~7 you need to break even by the thirtieth! But, rest assured, I'll make it. I've done this before, and I know what I plan to write and how!<br />
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I look forward to seeing you all! I'll also be heavily using the Twitter hashtag #NaNoFreaks, so get ready!<br />
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<b>Ramble About Writing is produced by Jesse Pohlman. Jesse is a freelance writer working out of Freeport, NY. He writes books - <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Jesse-Pohlman/e/B009PT5BX8">Just check out his Amazon Author's Page</a>.</b>Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-246299609355348213.post-44051650609123918662013-10-07T19:43:00.003-07:002013-10-07T19:43:27.810-07:00Five Ways to Improve Grand Theft Auto Online!It may come as a surprise to you, but there was a brief window of my life where I was an avid World of Warcraft player. Yes, I know, the roleplaying-and-writing nerd played the legendary MMORPG for a bit - shocking, huh? I really only played the Cataclysm expansion, and had retired long before Mists of Pandaria came out. What was initially enjoyable and challenging became repetitive and pointless once grinding for gear became a central focus; if I wanted to try something different for a change, I had to go through a bajillion steps I'd already undertaken...<br />
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...Whatever. <a href="http://www.cracked.com/article_18461_5-creepy-ways-video-games-are-trying-to-get-you-addicted.html">We all know the MMORPG score</a>. It's a formula designed to make players into addicts, and to drag out the experience so as to consume time, thereby extending the value already present in the game and squeezing more paid subscription days out of users. Consider the months of work it takes to get a character to level <strike>85</strike> 90 just so they can <i>begin</i> the process of getting geared up appropriately!<br />
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So, when Rockstar Games <a href="http://www.rockstargames.com/newswire/article/51422/some-more-details-on-grand-theft-auto-online.html">announced an MMORPG-caliber Grand Theft Auto</a>, inventively titled "Grand Theft Auto Online," I was skeptical - especially since it was built into GTA 5. But, I love me some GTA 5, and the ensuing <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/grand-theft-auto-online-launches-glitches/story?id=20431277">industry standard launch-day-apocalypse</a> got me thinking it might <i>just</i> not be terrible. Once I got in game, I discovered its capacity to be fun and engaging <i>without</i> half of the gearing-up bullshit most MMORPGs deal with. I fucking love Rockstar to begin with, and GTA 5's unprecedented success coupled with GTAO's availability has presented them with a chance to seriously contend with WoW and its dozens of would-be competitors.<br />
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That said...There's room for improvement. Here are five ways GTA Online needs to be upgraded in order to realize its potential as a breakthrough MMORPG hit!<br />
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#5: Special Skills</h3>
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In Rockstar's GTA 5, our three protagonists each have a special talent; Franklin, for example, can slow time down while he drives so that players can execute insanely complicated techniques. It's true that GTA Online can't capitalize on such "bullet time" mechanics, since all participants have to be on the same clock, but that doesn't mean there can't be special abilities.</div>
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Here's one example: A character with a sufficiently high <i>Stealth </i>score could have an ability which, when toggled, removes the player's icon on the radar for a short time; say, one millisecond for every point of <i>Stealth </i>the character has. A <i>Stamina</i> special might be a double-speed sprint, causing enemy fire to be less likely to hit; or, perhaps, a character's health regeneration might advance beyond the halfway point.</div>
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Unlocking these skills would require a bit of game balancing: Perhaps a side-quest or two has to be completed? Of course, characters could only know <i>one</i> ability. Maybe they could delete it and/or overwrite it, but - again - it should not be a task undertaken lightly.</div>
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#4: Improved Customization</h3>
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Following up on our fifth entry; Rockstar, let's face facts. I don't so much mind this "hereditary" system you whipped up for character creation, but let's get at least a little organized. Different heights? Body shapes? C'mon! This is the best chance we, as players, have ever had to interact with the crazy-ass world you've created. Let us have a <i>little</i> control over ourselves? Please?</div>
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Another thing: This system of picking what your character does with their time, and having that decide what a character is capable of? I dunno. Wouldn't it just be easier to use a stat-building system? I guess it was nice when I was rolling up my character, and it helped my sense of immersion, but then I found my character's clothes changing drastically and erratically based on half an hour here or there?</div>
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While we're on the topic; make customization options a little less based on rank? Like clothes - having a random-looking shirt unlock at rank 80 when a button-down high-end suit unlocks at 10 just makes no sense, to me. Why is it so hard to have an RGB-style color wheel for clothing? That would be awesome! Instead, I'm 90% satisfied with the attire my character started with, and I feel no inclination to change it. I dunno.</div>
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#3: Make Money Make Sense</h3>
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Okay, Rockstar, now we're gonna get into one of the biggest annoyances there is in this game - Money. It's not that you don't kick out okay money per mission, depending on the mission. A friend and I spent, like, half an hour chasing a car literally across your continent for a measly $1K when a ten-minute run can net me upwards of $5K, but that's beside the point. When I died at the hands of another player who just popped up and killed me as soon as I left a mission, then killed me two or three more times when I respawned, I lost a few hours of work. And I don't just mean the money from the mission I was on - I mean I lost a couple thousand out of my bank.</div>
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I'm told (we'll get there) that this has been addressed in a patch. Maybe; I've been careful not to die, since. But, even deaths during missions or - get this - deathmatches have the perception of overwhelming loss. I appreciate feeling a need to conserve ammo, but I shouldn't feel like using my SMG is a travesty! It just feels like resources are too scarce - and, to top it off, it even feels like I can't carry around much ammo.</div>
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I mentioned earlier how games like World of Warcraft exploit the need to get gear (and gold) in the interest of making players spend massive amounts of time and therefore expend their monthly subscriptions; GTA Online is <i>free</i>, so why not be a bit more liberal with the...Oh. <a href="http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/technology-science/technology/gta-online-microtransactions-set-make-2330549">Oh, yeah - they want you to pay for your in-game money</a>. Still, have fuckin' mercy.</div>
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#2: Improve Matchmaking!</h3>
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Rockstar, I honestly don't know which to make the #1 or #2 suggestion here, but I feel like this is a problem that follows, at least for me, from the one I'm making number one. Now, I play on X-Box 360. I play on X-Box Live. In fact, I only bought X-Box Live Gold so I can play GTAO. I'm not really regretting that decision, but I <i>am</i> slightly annoyed because - either for XBL-specific reasons or GTA-specific ones - I can't seem to find a good match.</div>
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I get that a simultaneous session is limited to 16 players. I'd heard rumors it might be at/get to 32, but at least for now it's 16. I understand that, and that's acceptable to me. What makes no sense, however, is that - in my pursuit of a 16 man death match - I feel like I am constrained to only the 15 other people I'm in a session with, plus or minus my online friends. There are suggestions, vis-a-vis the "skill-matched players" panel, that matchmaking looks for more than just a dozen-and-change people, but I don't <i>feel</i> it.</div>
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Let me pull another example from WoW: When I search for a random dungeon or PvP map (think "mission" or "Deathmatch," or "Race" in GTAO), WoW searches over each and every server in my region for <i>any</i> player looking for <i>any</i> suitable game. This allows it to query literally millions of players, and - in Raid Finder's example - usually lets me into a 25-man raid within a minute or two. Neat, huh? Forming up an in-game team in WoW is easy; I don't know how to do something so essential in GTAO. Who is that talking over my XBL headset? Why doesn't the game tell me who, at least, has an active mic?</div>
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Why isn't GTAO the same way? Is it just XBL? I don't think I should feel like I'm limited to 16-20 potential candidates when I'm searching for a 16-player match. Given the way Rockstar's servers were overwhelmed, I feel like I should have thousands of possible players - teammates, or enemies. I get that some of these gripes come off as spoiled PC gamer gripes, but let's be real here - some of these problems were solved back in Everquest.</div>
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#1: Tell Me What I'm Doing!</h3>
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Seriously, Rockstar, here's the deal: GTAO has incredible potential. I get that you haven't released Heists yet, as Heists in GTA5 are reminiscent of "end-game" raiding to me. I get that you can't make it <i>too</i> easy for players to acquire new assets. What I don't get is why it feels like I'm signing up for game sessions with the objectives list covered up.</div>
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Let's start with the "Missions" that you can sign up for. "Missions" is a very vague term - many of them are player-versus-player missions! Two teams fight over one McGuffin. In principle, this is a great idea! But, it's also PvP. When I think of "Missions," I think of PvE - Player Versus Enemy. Still other "missions" are called "Last Man Standing," which is actually a form of <i>deathmatch</i>. Meanwhile, Deathmatches come in many shapes and sizes - that's good! But they aren't well-categorized - that's bad! Do I land in a team match, or every man for himself?</div>
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Moving on, now we'll look at the actual job rewards. What the hell is "JP?" Nobody seems to know. How much money and reputation will you get for a mission? No idea, it varies from assignment to assignment (good!), and you aren't told anything in advance (bad!). What are your objectives? Well, you're sometimes assigned to chase down a car that spawns halfway across the map on you, doesn't give you a GPS reading, and - even if you assign one manually - moves so that by the time you reach where the car once was, it's halfway across the map again!</div>
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And then you get a pittance of $1,000 for chasing it?</div>
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Worst of all, however, I think is the lack of communication from Rockstar to players on the matchmaking issues they've experienced. Never mind what's gently called "Disappearing Character Disorder!" How about a solid explanation as to why GTAO created a disastrous bottleneck in the first couple missions? How about details on what jobs are available when? How about a cohesive story line for our silent protagonist?</div>
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How's this for an idea, my oh-so-beloved Rockstar - how about, when I post this article to your twitter feed, you guys actually read and respond to it? Hah!</div>
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<b>Jesse Pohlman is a writer and gamer hailing from Long Island in New York. He's an independently published author, as well as an educator and ski bum. Check out his <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Jesse-Pohlman/e/B009PT5BX8">Amazon Author page</a> and buy a book, stop by <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Jesse-Pohlman/163235123707589">his Facebook page</a>, or <a href="https://twitter.com/JPohlmanWriting">follow him on Twitter</a>. Or, y'know, just anonymously gripe in the comments section.</b></div>
Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-246299609355348213.post-29706652274453479592013-09-13T13:18:00.003-07:002013-09-13T13:18:40.573-07:00I've been interviewed about Physics Reincarnate, by J. Chris Lawrence!Hello, all!<br />
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I'll keep it short and simple: <a href="http://www.jchrislawrence.com/">J. Chris Lawrence</a>, an amazing writer and a staple over at <a href="http://www.everydayfiction.com/">Every Day Fiction</a>, has taken the time to engage in a genuinely awesome interview with me. Check it out below:<br /><br /><a href="http://jchrislawrence.com/2013/09/13/an-interview-with-jesse-pohlman/">http://jchrislawrence.com/2013/09/13/an-interview-with-jesse-pohlman/</a><br />
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Thanks for your time, and make sure to spread this around!Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-246299609355348213.post-42434954475451070882013-09-10T16:39:00.004-07:002013-09-10T16:39:34.059-07:00Committing to NaNoWriMo 2013!There are a lot of things I've wanted to get accomplished, both throughout my life and in the last year or so, that I haven't. Things come up, things slip the mind, whatever. Excuses are excuses, and while there is a difference between "excuses" and "explanations," I'm guilty of a little of each. However, despite an abortive attempt in 2010, I succeeded in completing <a href="http://nanowrimo.org/">National Novel Writing Month, also known as NaNoWriMo</a>, in 2011. I produced a little-known work called <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Protostar-Memoirs-Messenger-ebook/dp/B00BK77V86">Protostar: Memoirs Of The Messenger, released it on Amazon's Kindle</a>, and it's probably my best-selling novel to date.<br />
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It was genuinely a blast, and while I'm too much of a coward to venture into the public, in-the-flesh NaNoWriMo gatherings (and I question the sense of having them <i>during</i> the "contest," when everyone is wired on the fifty-thousand-word deadline!), I certainly enjoyed the self-imposed challenge of writing 50k words in thirty meager days. I took 2012 off for many reasons, not least this - let's be polite! - unpleasant woman named Sandy who strolled through my town, but now I'm back, baby!<br />
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For 2013, I plan to pen a sequel of Protostar!<br />
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I've written some notes. I'm assured that isn't cheating! So far I think I want to go with a sort of jarring start, and while I plan to feature the same cast of characters (the crew of The Messenger), I'm going to make the first chunk of the book about solving a riddle trapped in Captain Lahira Ocean's mind. At least, that's what I'm thinking I'll do! Once that's deciphered, her team will have to put that solution into practice - a completely different scenario!<br />
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Will Humankind survive it's war against the Orphans? Well, when the first novel ended we were assured that Lahira had succeeded in creating allies among her former enemies, and a rebellion was afoot in the alien ranks. Whatever the exact state-of-the-war, this isn't one of those tales where last-minute heroics is the only hope of our future-species. At least, not yet! Remember, dear reader, that there are in fact three other alien species out there: The fish-like Aquarians, the brutish Firions, and the artificially-intelligent Automatons. Despite Mankind's good relations with all three (and even with military aid coming from them!), is it possible that they could somehow change this war's course for the worse?<br />
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Outside of the realm of plot devices and character arcs, I also want to experiment with more editorial precision when it comes to creating the final, distributed product. Protostar is probably the least-edited of my more recent books, since it <i>was</i> written in under a month and all. There was no ongoing proofreading process. Things just got, well, written. Publication was never a major consideration! This time, it is. So this time, after November is done, it will be heavily <strike>redacted</strike> processed.<br />
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As always, I'll blog about it!Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-246299609355348213.post-71821188470733822662013-08-20T14:04:00.001-07:002019-05-19T16:03:12.095-07:00Why I Fight To Bring Back Old ShowsHey everyone!<br />
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One of the trends that I have, when writing on this blog, is to cover <a href="http://rambleaboutwriting.blogspot.com/2012/08/cancelled-before-prime-time-undergrads.html">old television shows</a> and <a href="http://rambleaboutwriting.blogspot.com/2012/10/cancelled-before-prime-time.html">video games</a> I liked as a kid, and to explore why. Once in a while, <a href="http://rambleaboutwriting.blogspot.com/2013/05/with-arrested-development-back-five.html">like with Arrested Development</a>, there's a level of success that's achieved! It's sort of like bringing back the dead, in a sense, so let me ask a simple question:<br />
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Why do some people like myself get caught up on bringing back old programs from their heyday? And why, in particular, am I so caught up with it? Maybe it has something to do with this:<br />
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See, I'm a creator. In particular, I'm a 28 year old creator. Ten years ago, in 2003, I was an 18 year old wanna-be creator. Two years before <i>that</i>, some other 18-something year old wanna-be creator got a TV show approved by MTV. It's a complicated story, but in 2001 this Pete Williams guy, along with Josh A. Cagan and Andy Rheingold, basically got this show off the ground. It was immensely popular...In Canada. In America, well, MTV didn't want to keep their animation department. So says Williams in a recent interview on the "<a href="http://guyswithpencils.tumblr.com/post/58679742801/guys-with-pencils-episode-124-undergrads-creator">Guys With Pencils</a>" podcast! Plus, I've already looked into other reasons it was unfairly handicapped. But this doesn't answer the underlying question of, "<i>Jesse, why do you keep attaching yourself to these crazy creative causes!?</i>"<br />
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<b>Personal Identification</b><br />
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Well...There are two fundamental reasons. First off is the fact that this show had an impact on me. It aired just as I was getting ready to go to college (It aired 2001, I started college in fall 2002). It's main creative drive was a few years older than me <i>and</i> a local native. It was, tacitly, about a close-knit group of friends based on real people; and it was a group who, even dramatized, I found resembled my group of friends. So there's just a great deal of personal identification, there. Maybe, in my starry-eyed brain, I wanted to be like this Pete Williams guy.<br />
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It helped that the show was about an awkward college guy who was trying to become something of a new person, but at the same time tied unbreakably - and pleasantly! - to his friends. That's the life I wanted, in essence, and to this day I'm proud to be close to many of my old friends. I could name them, but they'd kill me, so I won't. I also loved the music; most of it was spot-on, which is actually a surprise given that the show aired on MTV. The animation was notoriously flawed, having been produced in a korean lab that didn't quite "get" what the show was going for; in fact, a fan going by Steffan B had to actually re-edit the ending to get the damned point across:<br />
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So, one thing led to another and, the show died. At the time I was just sad, and I bought my DVD and wrote my e-mails to MTV without anyone knowing, at the time, just how vain that second prospect was. And, then, I got older. I always kept an ear open, but until 2012 I sort of assumed it wasn't going to happen - we'd get little tidbits here and there, but I understood better than many that the problem was simple - MTV and others owned the rights, and that was an impossible-to-procure object. I moved on, in large part because everyone else involved had moved on. Then, however, Pete made his way to Canada and discovered his canuck popularity! This guy realized, to paraphrase him, that he actually had been <i>quite</i> successful! He just didn't know it. Him, Cagan and Rheingold got a goat (hah!) and appeared at Calgary Expo, and from there shit took off. <a href="https://www.facebook.com/BringBackUndergrads">Now, there's a vibrant fan community</a> and there is real talk about creating a movie continuation!<br />
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Willliams regularly communicates with the fan-base, answering long-standing questions and soliciting ideas for how we can best make things work in the future. I'm infinitely proud to say I've actually earned some shout-outs, there.<br />
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<b>More Personal Identification</b><br />
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But there's an even more fundamental, selfish reason I do this gung-ho stuff. This second basic reason I push for old TV shows to get picked up, especially Undergrads, is that, well...I want <i>my</i> stuff to get picked up. You've probably figured out I write, but did you know that I literally released a novel today? It's called Physics Reincarnate, it's the sequel to my five-star rated book Physics Incarnate, and it's <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Physics-Reincarnate-Incarnate-Volume/dp/0615848311">available <i>now </i>in paperback</a> and on Amazon's <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Physics-Reincarnate-Incarnate-Series-ebook/dp/B00ENUW0Q0">Kindle E-reader</a>. If you count my kindle-exclusives, this is the <b>fifth</b> novel I have self-published (Pillars of The Kingdom 1+2, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Protostar-Memoirs-Messenger-ebook/dp/B00BK77V86">Protostar: Memoirs Of The Messenger</a>, and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Physics-Incarnate-Jesse-Pohlman/dp/0615591566">Physics Incarnate</a>), not to mention a short story collection.<br />
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Moreover, just like Williams, I have plans to revisit my old work. Even now, I'm re-editing Pillars of The Kingdom 1 and 2 for re-release as Kindle exclusives (the print versions are honestly not worth purchasing except for historical value, perhaps!). Eventually I will finish the last few chapters of the third installment of that novel. Protostar was my <a href="http://nanowrimo.org/en/dashboard">National Novel Writing Month</a> project from 2011, and I fully intend to make a sequel this November - even if that, too, is a Kindle-Exclusive.<br />
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Using my copy of Abnormal Psychology For Masochists (most assuredly written by the author of Abnormal Psychology For Drunks, Rocko's most beloved textbook from the show!), I have determined that I am projecting my desires to be a successful creator onto the people who created Undergrads. We have similar backgrounds in terms of geography, friends, and age-group. We have seen success, faced defeat, and we keep going. We've learned that the best way to help ourselves is to help other creators - writers, artists, animators, musicians, what-have-you. Is it any wonder that I would have attached myself to someone similar to me, at least in my own perspective?<br />
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Sure, I might just be crazy. I think <i>all </i>creators are crazy because we're standing here and attributing serious value to the stories we conjure out of our brains! We're standing here saying, "you will be <i>happy</i> if you spend your hard-earned money on listening to our tale, because this tale will leave you changed." Well, Undergrads changed me. It served, most of all, as proof that someone could just walk into a room (in Pete's case, enter a contest), prove they're skilled, and actually get something produced! Isn't that every creator's dream?<br />
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That's why I keep fighting to get this show a proper conclusion. If you watch the show, you'll understand why you should, too!<br /><br /><br /><b>My new website can be found at <a href="https://www.jpohlmanwriting.com/">http://www.JPohlmanWriting.com</a></b>, where I'll keep talking about old TV shows quite a bit, among other things...Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-246299609355348213.post-27048050796545405942013-07-21T13:27:00.003-07:002013-07-21T13:27:43.980-07:00Thoughts on Physics ReincarnateHello, writing and reading friends!<br />
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So, for starters, this is the mostly-official cover art for my next novel, pending a formatting tweak or two. It's nice because Blogspot takes a picture out of each entry to use, so I'm gonna use this because it's easy and almost automatic promotion.<br />
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Awesome, isn't it? It's by the talented Lawrence Shvartsberg, and it's awesome. Need I say it again? Awesome!<br />
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Anyway, my fans (I love you, all!) probably remember that <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Physics-Incarnate-ebook/dp/B00702TU98">Physics Incarnate</a> was written as a single book. It was meant to be sort of a psychological take on the traditional super-hero story. Emmett Eisenberg wasn't overtly powerful, from the reader's initial perspective. He was just strange! Eventually, readers discovered that he was truly "physics incarnate." He rearranges atoms at will. His friends, originally portrayed as potentially delusional, are by-and-large like he is. They have different powers, but similar circumstances. They all worked at the Connor Point research facility, under the direction of a group called The Consortium Of Trust, and they were all involved in a major disaster there. One might think that means they saved the world, or something, but that's not quite true. Emmett, in spite of his friends, isn't a hero by any stretch of the imagination. He doesn't save cities - in fact, he's come closer to destroying them during moments of emotional instability. He's not <i>evil</i>, he just lost control over his powers, and they nearly killed him.<br />
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<b>Expanded Universes</b><br />
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However, as the book became more popular and as people started asking, I realized there was more to tell about the characters of Emmett's world. I started thinking, in particular, about James Lowery. James was Emmett's friend who has mastery over his physical senses: Superhuman hearing, sight, nervous and muscular systems...Whatever! It's a very cliche power, but it isn't coupled with anything greater. No super-strength, no regeneration, no flight; just senses. Yet James uses them to deadly effect. Moreover, James was the "Head of security" at Connor Point. His tale felt incomplete.<br />
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I toyed with the notion of a prequel, but I've never been a big fan of them. I like to paint where things <i>go</i>, not where they've <i>been</i>. We already know Emmett's crew has super-powers, so there's no "twist" to be found there! Yet I wanted to talk about Jim's past: He's Irish, he's got a history with intelligence agencies, and he's the group's unelected ringleader.<br />
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But, I also came up with ideas for new villains. I came up with ideas for new characters in general. Most of all, I realized that there's some cohesive themes to explore:<br />
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- Physics Incarnate, for example, revealed the core of Emmett's past. It explained what the Consortium Of Trust was. It introduced us to Erica Hall, and dealt primarily with resolving Emmett's past.<br />
- Physics Reincarnate, as the sequel is titled, focuses a great deal more on Jim. Sure, the book will delve into how each member of this super-group was recruited, but it mainly focuses on a new threat. It's actually set in 2016, by the way, but it's less "future" and more "present." Survival is essential, because this new threat is more than well enough equipped to challenge Emmett - never mind the threat <i>they</i> are afraid of!<br />
- Physics Trincarnate will be the third book, and it is about creating a new world. I haven't written this one, yet, but I know how it goes in principle. The world will undergo a complete change and become truly divergent from the one we occupy. Also, it's 99% certain that this is where the series will end.<br />
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The thing with these novels is that nothing is quite as it seems. In book one, Emmett just seems like an odd guy with a very strange, science-minded point of view. References to atomic lattices are portrayed as simple metaphors - after all, every "solid" object is truly just a collection of atoms held together by bonds! And a physicist would be keenly aware of this! But Emmett isn't <i>just</i> seeing objects as a metaphor, he's literally seeing the bonds that hold our world together.<br />
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So, there's purpose behind everything, really. Even, as a hint of a spoiler, the name of one of my favorite characters - Sari. A "sari" is a robe worn by women in India. The idea of an exterior covering isn't anything new to this series, as Sari is originally presented as a 30-something-year-old doctor when in reality she's ten years younger than the bulk of the cast and is, moreover, really just a mystical healer. I know, "just" a mystical healer! So even on the outset, her identity is a lie. And will there be more truths to come, more layers of "saris" to peel away from her? Well, I wouldn't be posing this rhetorical question if there weren't!<br />
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So, all in all, get ready! Physics Reincarnate is coming soon!<br />
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<br />Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-246299609355348213.post-49678141460797090352013-06-10T18:20:00.003-07:002013-06-10T18:20:30.889-07:00X-Box One: A "How To Kill A Console" Rant.Howdy,<br />
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This is gonna be a quickie. It's about the X-Box One, and it is a new revision to the textbook on ruining a console. To be fair, I'm more of a PC gamer, but I have and love both the XBOX and 360. Well, more love has probably gone to the original, but that's a side-story.</div>
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Oh, speaking of the X-Box 1, We'll start with the obligatory "Name makes no sense" entry, calling it the fucking "one" as if this is a very bad pun on the concept of a square serving as a zero, and move on to a file-photo.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">X-Box One. Image Courtesy of Forbes</td></tr>
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Now then. Right off the bat, Kinect.</div>
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<b>Kinect Is Terrible</b></div>
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The sub-title should give it all away, really. I mean, really! The Nintendo Wii was great, in terms of its motion controls, mainly because they were still <i>controls</i>. You held them in your hand. Sony ripped it off, but Kinect went a different way. And, I can respect them for that.</div>
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However, the Kinect has added absolutely nothing that I can think of to gaming. Sure, I guess it's kind of neat to be able to wave my hand and make something happen on the screen, and I can maybe see that being incredibly awesome in an adventure/puzzle game (think <a href="http://www.telltalegames.com/strongbad">Strong Bad's Cool Game For Attractive People</a>) , or an RTS. But action? First-Person Shooters? Platforming? No.</div>
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Moreover, the Kinect functionality of the 3rd Box is going to <i>subtract</i> something from gaming. We all know what it is, by now. It's "Privacy." Namely, <a href="http://techland.time.com/2013/05/22/xbox-one-raises-the-burden-of-privacy-safeguards-5-questions-for-microsoft/">the fucking thing spies on you</a>! Yep, Kinect's camera <i>must</i> be on, <i>must</i> be attached, and <i>will</i> watch you walk into a room. So, basically, it's spying on you.</div>
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<b>Privacy > Piracy</b></div>
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Oh boy, speaking of privacy, here's a conundrum - who is watching what I do with my games? Well, if I want to return it, re-sell it, loan it to a friend, or whatever, guess what? <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/06/07/xbox-one-resale-rights-privacy_n_3401119.html">It's a fucking hassle</a>! It's neat that I can sign in to any XBox One and play my games, I guess, but if I try to "lend" my game to a friend, I can do it once.</div>
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Okay, time-machine time. Back when SNES was still the top dog, my friends and I used to loan each other games <i>all the fucking time</i>. "What's that? Secret Of Mana? And you've already beaten it? And you're working on Earthbound? Dude! Can I borrow it for a week? I'll let you borrow my Final Fantasy III(6) if you need something in the meantime!" No more.</div>
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Did I mention that, to fight piracy, the "One" is always going to be online? Yeah, this is another of those stupid gimmicks designed to fight piracy. "OH! But now you can run for up to 24 hours off-line!" "It's a smoother experience!" "You can have <i>Facebook!"</i> No. No, and no. That's ridiculous, and you're ridiculous for thinking that's a good argument. Always online? That shit sounds like <a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887324299104578533802289432458.html">a wet dream for the makers of PRISM, the (latest) major scandal</a> involving internet companies like Verizon sending the private data of American citizens to our government in what is certainly a breach of the Fourth Amendment.<br />
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Look, I get that piracy might be <i>kind </i>of an issue,<a href="http://community.us.playstation.com/t5/PlayStation-General/PSP-piracy-The-stats/td-p/30828666"> but it's apparently an issue reserved for PC games</a>, due to the ability to bring greater game-copying software and distribution to bear. And, moreover, according to this chart it's <i>not </i>really much of a problem!</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://media.pcgamer.com/files/2011/09/pc-gaming-sales-growing.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="http://media.pcgamer.com/files/2011/09/pc-gaming-sales-growing.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image courtesy of IGN</td></tr>
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So with PC gaming set to eclipse console gaming, and with the technical capabilities of <a href="http://www.p4rgaming.com/ps4-graphics-impressive-to-people-who-have-never-played-modern-pc-games/">consoles having proven pretty much unable to hold up to the versatility and power of a PC</a> - not that they really need to, because "better graphics" are pretty much not a concern anymore - this anti-piracy effort is essentially, as always, bullshit.<br />
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Oh, and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PlayStation_Network_outage">did we forget the Playstation Network Outage</a>? Hold on! Add one plus one real fast, and you get the obvious: "What happens if Microsoft's network gets hacked or otherwise crashes?" That's right, you have an expensive brick on your hands - oh, oh, wait, after 24 hours. How expensive?<br />
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<b>Price Tags Talk</b></div>
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By this point, I'm obviously not in the "going to buy this thing" camp. Two generations ago, I owned all three systems - X-Box, Game Cube, and PS2. Why? Because all three were reasonably priced, had reasonably priced and accessible games and controllers (Oh, and the "One" doesn't use 360 controllers. Ha-ha!), and I liked what it put out. The X-Box actually was probably my #3 console, with mainly Halo/2 to tide me over; the GC had Smash Brothers, Metroid Prime, some Zelda iteration, and even Phantasy Star. The PS2? Oh boy - that system kicked ass!</div>
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So why did I ultimately opt to get a 360 first? And a Wii second? And a PS3 not-at-all? Well, economics was a huge factor. Wii's were un-gettable, PS3's were <i>we'll get to it!</i>, and 360's were applicable! It also had Halo 3 to serve as a killer app, plus GTA4, plus Final Fantasy support (I never got around to it), plus the Live Arcade or whatever it was that I got Sonic, Scott Pilgrim, and other stuff from. In other words it was a solid, reasonably accessible, reasonably priced console with reasonably fun games.</div>
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Oh. And here's what really killed the PS3.</div>
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You fucking <i>knew</i> it was coming!! You fucking knew it! The PS3's fully decked-out model sold for $599, with it's 1/3rd-the-memory selling for $499. This with virtually no games? <a href="http://www.screwattack.com/shows/originals/screwattack-top-10s/top-ten-ps3-exclusives-2007-edition">Screwattack did a virtually flawless explanation of why that console had such a shitty life</a>. Did it eventually stabilize? Sure! But it got its ass kicked - hard - early on, largely because it's price point and games simply didn't match up.</div>
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The "One?" Well, it's set to release at - surprise! - <a href="http://www.gameinformer.com/b/news/archive/2013/06/10/xbox-one-price-revealed.aspx">$499, as compared to the 360's $399</a>.</div>
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<b>The X-Box Breakdown</b></div>
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Let's recap:</div>
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- Five hundred bucks for a system that...</div>
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- Demands to spy on you so it can...</div>
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- Connect you to the internet, another demand...</div>
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- Cannot function <i>without</i> the internet...<br />
- Could well be leaking your private information to the government...</div>
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- Doesn't allow you to freely move your own games...</div>
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- Isn't something you can purchase if you live, say, in upstate NY due to lack-of-internet...</div>
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- Has a stupid name...</div>
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- Has games which might or might not be good, but can't be just fucking played...</div>
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- Oh, and costs five hundred fucking dollars!</div>
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Hey! Hey! Here's a newsflash: The "market" speaks. That means that consumers have a voice, and when they like something they buy it. When they don't they don't - and they often buy something else. You want some real, hard truths about this system?</div>
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According to Haverzine, <a href="http://haverzine.com/2013/05/24/wii-u-sales-rise-875-on-amazon-uk-after-xbox-one-announcement/">sales of the Nintendo WiiU (Another stupidly-named console) on Amazon's UK portal jumped <b>875%</b> after the specifications of the "One" were announced in May</a>. That's <i>specifications</i>, like all the privacy/Kinect crap. This astronomical price was released <i>today</i>. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B009AGXH64/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B009AGXH64&linkCode=as2&tag=jesspohlwrit-20">And the Wii U's deluxe model is $349 regularly, a full hundred-and-fifty less than the default "One."</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=jesspohlwrit-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B009AGXH64" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /> Whaddya wanna bet that, regardless of what happens with the PS4 announcements, sales of the Wii U continue to skyrocket as the "market" showers disapproval on Microsoft by feeding Nintendo?<br />
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After all, while all I might get out of a Wii U is another <i>meh</i> Mario game, at least I know Mario isn't demanding to watch me wander around in my living room while he's jacked into to the internet in order to stomp a few Goombas. If you know what I mean.</div>
Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-246299609355348213.post-66060574207833299512013-05-26T22:56:00.002-07:002019-05-19T15:58:43.796-07:00With Arrested Development Back; Five More Shows We Need To ReturnWe all had our doubts. We wondered if it could be true; right up until we saw our friend Gob doing the promos, and even <i>then</i>, <a href="http://rambleaboutwriting.blogspot.com/2012/07/why-i-love-arrested-development-as.html">we - I - felt like it was just magic</a>. Or, an illusion.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gob. Not Job - Ed.</td></tr>
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Arrested Development has returned, <a href="http://netflix.com/">thanks to Netflix</a>! What's more, although I'm only six episodes in and it's sort of a compromise of my values as a critic, well, it's <i>good</i>. It's damn good. It's coming together so beautifully that, well, I'm a bit wistful for other shows I loved as a kid. Or, in Arrested's case, discovered something like nine years after it was cancelled. So, here's five other shows that need to return - either on TV, on Netflix, or just somehow.<br />
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They aren't in any particular order. I thought about quality-wise, but many of them are different styles of show, so that wouldn't help. I thought about doing things chronologically, but that's not helpful; do you go with starting date, or cancellation date? So, this is just five shows in a (mostly) non-deliberate order. If you disagree...Hey! I'm just some guy. You're you! Surely you have your own view! And, surely, you've dedicated hours to writing editors and producers like I have. Right? No I'm not rabid!</div>
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<b>Candidate Number One: Firefly.</b></div>
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<b>Chance Of Return</b>: Medium.</div>
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<b>Fan Devotion:</b> <i>Slavish</i>!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdvu4mtDQslVDjb9AB0wl7tGq59PoBEecEQyHwDYgBGhTeLFp_0dPX8OB8Lcagg1qLm7iIB7ztSX3ICDVqbj4WWTWZmopsRMdisfP9tetH_KVcvh3Untr731QwWzDLrdhxoMPY6o4aLtI/s1600/firefly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdvu4mtDQslVDjb9AB0wl7tGq59PoBEecEQyHwDYgBGhTeLFp_0dPX8OB8Lcagg1qLm7iIB7ztSX3ICDVqbj4WWTWZmopsRMdisfP9tetH_KVcvh3Untr731QwWzDLrdhxoMPY6o4aLtI/s1600/firefly.jpg" /></a></div>
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Probably the most critically acclaimed and well-known of the shows on this list, <a href="http://rambleaboutwriting.blogspot.com/2012/09/cancelled-before-prime-time-firefly.html">I've written about it before</a>. Is it my personal favorite? Probably not; but it had some nice stylings, it got a pretty decent movie conclusion in Serenity, and it has a fan-base which is pretty dedicated. Dedicated fan-bases are important, but there are two problems blocking it's revival. First is Serenity, itself; in getting that as a wrap-up, it essentially wrote major characters out of any potential new series. Bringing dead people back, or "having it all be a dream," or whatever? Not going to go over well, though I suppose it <i>would</i> be forgivable.<br />
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Second, and worse, is the very savior of Arrested Development itself: Netflix. On May 1st, in the full and raw light of Arrested's return, <a href="http://www.stuff.tv/news/apps-and-games/news-nugget/netflixs-ted-sarandos-talks-arrested-development-4k-and-reviving-old">Netflix bigwig Ted Sarandos said to Stuff.TV</a>: "..." Okay, he gave us a paragraph which didn't quite say "No," but he said that Firefly's fan-base had, in his opinion, shrunk down. I already cited low viewership as a cause for it's original demise. If that problem is exacerbated, well, I can see Summer Glau needing something else to do...<br />
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<b>Candidate Number Two: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles</b>.<br />
<b>Chance Of Return</b>: Low.<br />
<b>Fan Devotion</b>: Medium.<br />
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Oh boy. This is perhaps my favorite sci-fi show, aside from one I'll mention (but decidedy <i>not</i> nominate) later. I loved the Terminator series as a kid, and boy did I love this show! Summer Glau did a great job as Cameron, Thomas Dekker did a great job as John Connor, and Lena Headey as Sarah? Yeah. It kicked serious ass. So what happened?</div>
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Well, Season One was crippled by the infamous Writer's Strike. Season Two, besides being poorly promoted, broken up into two halves as TV shows are wont to do (complete with shifting the night it aired), and having an admittedly drunken stupor for a middle-of-the-season, well...I guess that's a pretty complete list. It's pending death was well known by the time the final episodes were written and aired, which is a damn shame - and it wasn't really well capped off, if only because there were hopes of it being picked up. And it was - By Syfy, which didn't actually <i>do</i> anything with it.</div>
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Of course, the rights to the Terminator series have since fallen into a nightmarish maze of auctions and purchases, and the epic failure of Terminator 4 (That one Bruce Wayne bought his way into) really just kind of left the whole franchise under-ground. This show was great, with an awesome storyline, very well developed characters, and a devoted fanbase at the time. Now, however, "the resistance" has proven futile.</div>
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<b>Candidate Number Three: Undergrads</b></div>
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<b>Chance Of Return</b>: Low.</div>
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<b>Fan Devotion:</b> Canadian!<br />
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Well, wouldja look at that! Another show I did a "<a href="http://rambleaboutwriting.blogspot.com/2012/08/cancelled-before-prime-time-undergrads.html">Cancelled Before Prime Time</a>" for! This animated TV show retains a fairly strong Canadian following, vis-a-vis Teletoon. And that's, honestly, quite awesome. I try to introduce my friends to it, and they tend to love it, but that doesn't contribute to the still-flagging revival movement.<br />
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However, what gives this show a chance of being picked up is the fact that series creator Pete Williams keeps himself engaged with the fan-base, even myself. Fans produce videos trying to egg the show back into existence, and it still comes up as a leading topic at conventions. Up in Canada. Is it forgotten in America? Not quite; but in Canada, it certainly still lives quite well!<br />
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I know, scary - I've actually had, like, something resembling a conversation with a television guy! Maybe he can help get <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Physics-Incarnate-ebook/dp/B00702TU98">Physics Incarnate</a> made into a movie...If he can get his own TV show brought back! Oh! And speaking of people who ramble on as if talking to a computer screen while they type, but are constantly outrunning the speed of their brains with their fingers!<br />
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<b>Candidate Number Four: Homestar Runner</b></div>
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<b>Chance Of Return</b>: High.</div>
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<b>Fan Devotion:</b> Crazy-Go-Nuts!<br />
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If you don't realize that the above picture is <i>not</i> of <a href="http://www%2Chomestarrunner.com/">Homestar Runner</a>, but of Strong Bad, then you just don't understand, and must immediately go to the linked text within this sentence. Homestar Runner was one of the biggest things on the internet, pre-Youtube. Regular Flash animations uploaded once a week, often in response to fan e-mails? Musical collaborations with They Might Be Giants and others? A whole five-part video game created by Telltale Games?! Oh, god, yes!<br />
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Homestar Runner is, and was, probably the best free show on the internet. Yes, I am including The Angry Video Game Nerd. H*R started off as just something small and fun, but ballooned into a series with inside jokes contained inside of other inside jokes. It hit on literally dozens of TV tropes, like when a TV show would replace one actor with another without explanation; or, on other, more mundane topics like time capsules. All you have to do is mash the "random" button about a thousand times a day and you'll understand.<br />
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But what happened to it? Well, after more than ten years of content creation, The Brothers Chaps (and Missy Chapman, and others I'm sure) probably just burned out. Up until a couple years ago, they'd occasionally drop a new bit of content onto the site, but the latest official update (as per the <a href="http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/Main_Page">Homestar Runner Wiki</a>) came via twitter over a year ago, merely teasing another Strong Bad Email that has yet to be made. There's word that, as Matt Chapman has worked on shows like Yo Gabba Gabba, the "time versus money" equation has led to the need of H*R's creators to focus on real jobs in the face of independent projects, and that would make sense.<br />
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But, then again, sooner or later I expect at least <i>one</i> more cartoon to come out. Or, for all we know, maybe something even crazier - after all, a tremendously huge adventure game was probably <i>never</i> in the original offing!<br />
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<b>Candidate Number Five: Arre--WAITWHAT?! Arrested Development?</b></div>
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<b>Chance Of Return</b>: Very high!</div>
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<b>Fan Devotion:</b> Insomniac, today.</div>
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Okay, look. We went from hoping to just get a movie made, to having something like ten episodes on the slate, to what we've eventually gotten: Fifteen! I'm six in! I'm taking time out of <i>my</i> Arrested Development viewing to write this article! And for what? Because I am so impressed with what I've seen thusfar that I am confident that any <i>more</i> AD they make will, in fact, be also amazing. And, frankly, because we have no guarantee that more <i>will</i> be made.</div>
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People like to forget that, as explained at the end of Season Three, one of the reasons the show was originally cancelled was that it was <i>not</i> exactly a show which could be carried on indefinitely. And, people like to forget that writing anything is difficult - writing it at the caliber AD's Mitch Hurwitz and crew do? <a href="http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,1178690,00.html">Well, Hurwitz himself had said he was exhausted</a>. Unfortunately, television production is hard to "take a hiatus" from. Let's mention T:TSCC - Lena Headey played Sarah Connor, but now she's playing Cersei Lannister on Game Of Thrones (an awesome show, by the way!). So even if she <i>wanted</i> to go back, she's got a whole new contract on a whole new show to soak her life up. Did I mention Homestar Runner addressed replacing an actor? This was not an accident.</div>
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Moreover, I want to look for a moment at Lost. Lost was an awesome show. A lot of people didn't like Season Five, or how it ended, or that it was ever ended at all! But Lost was the kind of show with a "closed plot," so to speak: It had an ending which the creators surely had <i>some</i> ideas on, even if they weren't fully formed at the onset of the show. And even though many hated the ending, and even though I kind of felt a little wonky about it myself, the DVD extra "The New Man In Charge" really gave it a nice cap. To bring Lost back would probably <i>hurt</i> the series, not help it.</div>
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But Arrested Development is not Lost. Lost is serious - AD is, well, <i>not</i> serious. Not <i>seriously</i> serious. True, there may be limits to what the show can become. And, true, their writing staff is good enough to know when enough is enough! But here's the trick: Season Four is proving, so far, that Arrested is a real contender to be more than just fifteen episodes released on one day to temporarily nudge up Netflix subscriptions. I don't know how Season Four ends yet, and it might end in such a way that the show couldn't possibly go on (for another half a decade, anyway!), but it's good enough that, if the writers wanted, they could always find a way to make it work!</div>
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And I think, as long as the writers have faith in what they're coming up with, that we need Arrested Development to serve as a benchmark for other shows which have returned from the cancellation void (Family Guy), and even ones that subsequently failed again (Futurama).</div>
Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-246299609355348213.post-87642803883029732192013-04-23T15:42:00.002-07:002013-04-23T15:42:34.784-07:00Statute of Limitations: Personal Narratives, Coming-Of-Age, and Employment TalesQuick show of hands, folks? Who's seen <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0146882/?ref_=sr_1">High Fidelity</a>?<br />
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How about Kevin Smith's breakthrough comedy, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109445/?ref_=sr_1">Clerks</a>? If you have, you've probably figured out that they both feature protagonists who work in a shop of some sort, deal with romantic stress, engage in all sorts of hi-jinx with their colleagues, and tell a now-legendary "coming of age" story about how the main character comes to terms with their aging.</div>
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In <b>High Fidelity</b>, John Cusack's character Rob Gordon deals with a pretty miserable break-up. He cavorts with the employees he's hired to work his record store (dated? Perhaps!), and with their help he figures out how to set his life on a "better" path. He frequently talks to the viewer directly, opening the movie with the story of his Top-Five Breakups. There's the early-on elementary school disaster, the high school disaster, and the college disaster! Rob follows up with his past loves, trying to figure out what to do with his present despair. It's a funny tale, and it's got some great music in it to boot.</div>
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More renowned with the budding creator, however, is <b>Clerks</b>. Filmed by nerd legend Kevin Smith on a shoestring budget, at night, at the convenience store he worked at, Clerks is about Dante Hicks and Randall Graves, two miscreants (well, Randall is) who fuck around at work all day, play hockey on the roof, and - oh, yeah - have to come to terms with the fact that they are getting older. Dante's conflicted between two love interests, and in the end he has to deal with <i>that</i> problem, as well.</div>
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You're not here for a compare-and-contrast essay, though. There's thousands of points of comparison! There's equally as many differences between the two. None, though, are more stark than this one fact: High Fidelity is based on a 1995 novel of the same name by Nick Hornby. Did I know this when I first watched the movie? Nope! In fact, I have yet to read it.</div>
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But I <i>have</i> learned something from this contrast, and from both films put together: Stories change and become distant over time.</div>
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<b>Statute of Limitations</b></div>
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Both stories are about young, disaffected men having relationship issues, employment disassociation, and general-old-lives. They have fun with friends! The events of each film (debates over music; debates over Star Wars) are pretty familiar to any twenty-something American male. It's a universal appeal that practically begs people to tell their own twist on it. And that's a danger to any writer - tropes are attractive because they're easy to fall into, but virtually impossible to pull off. You need, at the very least, a hook.</div>
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You also need to have something you can still relate <i>to</i>! After fifty or so years, you just won't remember the details. It becomes hard to remember exactly <i>why</i> your friend Billy was hilarious, and you'll have boatloads of difficulty explaining why the events of May 27th, 1997 were so incredibly awesome! And <i>explaining</i> it? To a reader, or a viewer? Even when you decide to twist the actual events and embellish it, you're still not doing anything more than patching the core of the story up.</div>
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Fiction often has a core of truth; writers draw from their lives all the time. They're stories about fake people, and the circumstances they find themselves in are only somewhat lodged in what can possibly be <i>real</i>. An autobiography, a personal narrative, a story about your youth? These contain facts, or at least are supposed to! But time adds a fog to certain things, and even well-kept journals and friends who retell their experiences will differ from your recollection.</div>
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The point, here, is the same as any other time you, as the creator of art, have an inspirational flash. If you plan to tell a story, tell it while it's rather fresh. Sure, you need a few weeks' removal from it, to really process what happened. In fact, sometimes even a couple years could benefit the wordsmith! But with each re-telling, each re-hashing, each passing minute, the raw impression of the incidents you were so enamored with become fainter and fainter. It's a balancing act, just like the act of editing and processing a story can fundamentally change it from it's more primal roots, waiting too long can cause your memory of an experience to go beyond crystallization and into fracture.</div>
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Sometimes, you just have to act.</div>
Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-246299609355348213.post-53186897509959551282013-02-24T15:22:00.000-08:002013-02-24T15:22:00.553-08:00Jesse Pohlman releases his latest novel, Protostar!Hey internet world!<br />
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This is just a quick reminder that I've put out my latest novel, Protostar! <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Protostar-Memoirs-Messenger-ebook/dp/B00BK77V86/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1361747857&sr=8-4&keywords=Jesse+Pohlman">It's a Kindle exclusive</a>, at this time, but if demand is high I'll convert it to a hard-copy book. The teaser text goes something like this...<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Ensign Lahira Ocean is the chief navigator of the Human battleship, the "George Washington." Born on the world Magellan, she comes from a wealthy family and joined the fleet as a precursor to her future as a trade magnate; aside from astronomic charts and hyper-drive calculations, she studies history as a pass-time as well as a rationalization for her circumstances. She regularly muses retirement, despite her incredible skill in military affairs. Fate intervenes when another world, Hudson, picks up an group of alien ships heading straight for it. The "George Washington" is deployed to help handle this initial contact, but the exact nature of the response is as shocking as it is stereotypical of a 20th or 21st century science-fiction epic!</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;" /><br style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Now, Lahira has little choice but to accept command of a brand new generation of ship, one born just on the temporal edge of a war unlike any Mankind has seen before. Bringing together a hard-nosed specialist in military doctrine, a free-wheeling reformed space pirate, a nonchalant communications expert, and her own chief rival as a chief navigator, can the now-Captain manage to survive her own crew long enough to face the alien menace? What has made these foreigners so ready to wage war against any species it meets? Will she be up to the task of leading the counter-attack against these mysterious Orphans?</span></blockquote>
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Now, you might remember Protostar from my 2011 <a href="http://rambleaboutwriting.blogspot.com/2011/10/national-novel-writing-month-nanowrimo.html">National Novel Writing Month expedition</a>. It was a successful mission, and Protostar was the result. Well, a year and a half later and it's done! Now, I might do a sequel to Protostar if it's effective, but I'd do it as a 2013 NaNoWriMo.<br />
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So...Encouragement, maybe? ;)Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-246299609355348213.post-58097219645816539582013-02-13T18:09:00.000-08:002013-02-13T18:25:12.875-08:00Why I'm Not Celebrating Valentine's DayTomorrow, on Thursday, February 14th, the world will celebrate a holiday based on love. Okay, so it's <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine's_Day">based on the imprisonment of a man who performed weddings for Roman soldiers</a>, and who was ultimately executed, but that's fine. The main idea - a holiday based on love - exists today to remind couples how happy they are, or to at least fuel the diamond and jewelry industry; and, of course, for this particular author to <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Physics-Incarnate-ebook/dp/B00702TU98/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1360805319&sr=8-2&keywords=Jesse+Pohlman">offer his novel (which contains a love story!) for free on Amazon's Kindle</a>.<br />
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Sorry, do I sound cynical? Well, if I am, there's certainly a reason for it. A few months ago, immediately after my dad got out of the hospital, my girlfriend of nearly three years dumped me without ceremony or warning, and began dating someone who will almost assuredly be her <i>Valentine</i>, this year. It was a crippling blow, but I've learned something in the time since that rather grievous Friday. First, I have some amazing friends who I really am happy to have; and, two, I'm not alone in being alone, and that's okay!<br />
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<b>The Boring, Depressing Background.</b><br />
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See, for the longest time I had allowed my relationship status to define me. I watched who I talked to, worried that speaking with a pretty girl might convince my girlfriend-at-the-time I was cheating on her (while she cheated on me, naturally). I moved in with her, but by the time we settled on an apartment I knew it was out of my affordability range - and I went with it, because it's what <i>she</i> wanted. Vacations, dinner plans, hanging out with friends? All of these are things I had sacrificed to make sure I kept that relationship status. It was one I didn't even necessarily want, and for all the love her and I had truly shared at one point, by the end it wasn't hard to see that it was over.<br />
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Oh, there were good times. I got her a giant penguin for our very first <i>Valentine</i>'s day. Trips to other states, places I'd never been and might never have gone in the first place. She was there, in the hospital, when I had my shoulder surgically repaired - and though she could have taken <i>better</i> care of me, immediately post-op, she didn't leave me to suffer all too often. Most of her family was miserable, but some of them weren't so bad, and I had some good conversations. What's more, some of the friends we made together have become long-lasting friends of mine in their own right.<br />
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Nevertheless, this break-up was by far the harshest I'd ever been through. It came at a time when I was still in a fairly decent amount of physical pain, still fighting an insurance company for physical therapy, and still fighting to keep the few family members I have left, well, here. It also didn't help that I had grown very attached to our cats, and that one of -them- had been in the hospital just weeks ago (I offered over $3,000 dollars to pay for his treatment, asking only for about $500 back within a year). Or that all my stuff was at her apartment. Or that we were under a month away from our three-year anniversary. Like I said, it's a good thing I have good friends, or I'd probably have ended up in a much worse place than I did.<br />
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It was time to start learning from this fairly-modified picture of one of our happier times, and the lesson should be pretty obvious.<br />
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<b>Being Okay Being Alone</b></div>
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In that wedding-scene, open-bar-influenced photo, my left (pre-surgical; painful, thusly-medicated, but not crippled) arm is pointing at her. The idea was obvious: I cared about this person, and this person was #1 to me, even as we gave one-another bunny ears. It was nice, and the memory would warm me if it didn't hurt at the same time, like getting too close to a bonfire. However, I've learned that this finger <i>really</i> should have pointed at me, instead, as it should for all people in any relationship.</div>
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That doesn't imply someone should be selfish. It indicates, instead, that people have to take care of themselves, and as much as someone may "Complete" you, they can't do so without first taking into consideration the thing known as you. Modern day love stories always involve two people who, come hell or high water, are destined to be together. It's fate. One virtually completes the other, like those broken-heart necklaces; half a heart that only fits with it's chosen mate. For that matter, you might as well think of shoes as a metaphor - you've got the left one on, now go find the right one. And make sure it's the same damn shoe!</div>
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No, no, and no. I have, as a meagerly-successful, reportedly-handsome, hopefully charming man, the opportunity to call a girl up tomorrow, ask, "Hey, do you wanna go out to dinner? Do you wanna <i>be my Valentine</i>?," and probably get a positive answer in response. As a kid, as a hopeless romantic, all I'd ever wanted was that precious status! To be someone's <i>Valentine</i>, or their boyfriend, or more! Hell, I was a gentleman, right? I needed to find a nice lady to settle down with, to fall in love with, and to be happy with! This was so important that I never even took the time to, A, figure out who I was when it came to romance; B, to make the classic mistake of confusing sex for love; and, C, most of all, develop the courage and tact to actually approach any of the girls I secretly admired.</div>
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In short, I became a Nintendo generation cliche: Full of pitiable, emo-model unrequited loves, long-distance relationships, and even weaknesses in other areas of my social life. The very pressure of this monogamous, hollywood-style romance that fuels Valentine's Day had really kicked my ass, huh?! And even as I grew older, wiser, and bolder, I still measured my positive traits based on how, frankly, they enticed whoever I was with. Did this girl like me more as a writer, or as a goth? Did she like me more dominant or submissive? Did she prefer McDonalds at home or hibachi at an expensive place? What did I need to do to win that girl of my dreams?</div>
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To paraphrase Bruce Willis' character in <i>Lucky Number Slevin</i>, I woke up to find my dreams were the stuff of pipes. Though, if I'm not bold in my reinterpretation of cliches, a "pipe dream," derived from friendly herbs in accordance with local and state law, doesn't sound too bad when I think about what I'd gone through!</div>
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<b>Now, Then Worry About Later</b></div>
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So you know the story and you know the lesson I had to learn. I knew, even as I recovered from the shock of the split, that a "rebound" relationship was a bad idea. I focused instead on developing good friendships with as little pressure as possible, and I am so proud to say that the friends who have chosen to trust me so far are helping, a lot. And I hope I'm helping them!<br />
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And right now, I'm starting to see the both forest <i>and</i> each individual tree. I don't feel like I have to force a relationship to manifest. I don't feel like I have to wait, on my tippy-toes, for a text message back from someone I'm interested in. People have lives, and they live them. I'll wait for a while, then I'll move on until they return. I'm learning that I don't need someone to complete me. Compliment, perhaps, but those are different words with different meanings. I don't need to spend every waking minute with a person, nor do I feel any unnatural obligation to devote blocks of time to a specific someone. What I do, I choose to do when it is reasonable for me and for those I do it with.<br />
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That's not to say I'm turning into a man-whore or a drifter. Eventually, I'm sure, the time will be right for me to settle things down. Eventually, things will be "official," and there will come a February 14th wherein I once again live up to that old, childish goal of having a <i>Valentine</i>. However, it will not be this year, and it isn't a goal which must be met in time for <i>any</i> certain, pre-designated year. As many nagging feelings as I might get about <i>Valentine</i>'s day, this year, I don't have any obligations.<br />
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And that's a feeling I'm quite in love with.<br />
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<i>Jesse Pohlman is a starving artist, sub-species writer, from Freeport, New York. He is me. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Physics-Incarnate-ebook/dp/B00702TU98/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1360805319&sr=8-2&keywords=Jesse+Pohlman">Buy my book</a> - or get it for free, on the 14th, in a universal "fuck you!" to the commercial system perpetuating this holiday's hyper-importance!</i>Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-246299609355348213.post-53495808262287414922013-02-09T14:58:00.001-08:002013-02-09T15:04:24.849-08:00Writing/Art Tips: Dealing With Project SprawlHello, fellow creators!<br />
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While I was working on my lego comic, and debating on drawing some more cover art for a book I'm almost done with, I was networking and writing my local news blog and...<br />
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...And I realized I have a problem. See, I have a lot of projects on my hand at any time. Sometimes I get commissioned to write an article, while other times I just end up in a pointless debate with someone on the internet. Most of the time, though, I'm working on a book. And there are lots of them I'm working on, and lots more that I've de-facto abandoned. That's probably the greatest shame, because I've written them all in my head! Just not on paper!<br />
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But if I were to start on them, then I'd leave <i>other</i> projects un-done, and therein lies the problem.<br />
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<b>Focus On One Thing? Hah!</b><br />
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Some people's first bit of advice is to pick one thing to focus on at a time. For many people, that works - and if you're that lucky, hey, good for you! Put that talent to use. But many others find themselves always waking up, each day, with a different "feeling." Maybe some day they feel like writing, while another day they feel like painting. If they don't write, their manuscript goes unfinished; but if they try to force themselves to write when they want to paint, well, nothing gets done except for the denial of the true desire!<br />
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In my case, I wanted to write this article because I was working on the cover-art for my next novel, and realized that I was all over the place in terms of goals. There's so much I want to get done, but so little I can. It's a problem. So I decided I needed an image that really demonstrated this feeling, and showed what "Sprawl" is. Creating the above picture took me about 20 minutes. True, I learned some new GIMP tricks that, had I known them earlier, would have sped the process up! But it's still a significant expenditure of time, especially when time is unpleasantly short.<br />
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So what's my answer? Well, one thing is to try to have a schedule. "Day one, work on project one. Day two, work on project two." Whatever it is. Sometimes, however, my daily life limits me to only having 15-20 minutes of "Creative time." This forces me to pick something I can get done quickly, or at least something I can make a major contribution towards.<br />
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Truly, sprawl is a problem.<br />
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<b>The Answer Is Patience</b><br />
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Most of all, I feel like I'll never get something done in time. That the book cover will take so long I don't want to do it; that finishing a novel will take forever; that doing the research I need to perform in order to properly establish my older novels as viable is just going to be a brick with which I can bash my own head, and little else.<br />
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And none of that is true.<br />
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See, I'm young. I'm 28. But even if I were 68, I'm probably not dying tomorrow. I'm probably going to wake up tomorrow and have time to work on my next idea. The biggest reason why people seem to differentiate into working on dozens of projects at once is because they don't know how to be patient, to put their ideas on paper until the ones they're already executing are complete, and come back to it later. That's right - patience.<br />
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For me, it's patience to know that, yes, this cover-art will get done; yes, the book will be released; yes, I can re-release old ones, and - finally - I can put out new material. I can clear this massive plate I have in front of me, and I can think about new ideas and not feel like I have to immediately act on them in order for them to ever happen. The key? <i>If they are strong enough ideas, they will be there when I'm finished with what's got me busy</i>.<br />
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For others, I'd recommend the same - or, at least, a conscious evaluation of which projects should take priority and should be the subject of the most effort. Immediate performance and financial income isn't the only guideline, here; existential reward and personal satisfaction matter, too. Each person will be different, and there's always some creep, but sprawl should be kept to a minimum - before it gets out of hand, and nothing gets done.Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-246299609355348213.post-8647961028701630022013-02-03T11:08:00.001-08:002013-02-03T11:08:05.147-08:00Dystopian Reality: The Aaron Swartz Story | Suite101I have a channel on Suite101.com called <a href="http://suite101.com/c/dystopian-review">Dystopian Review</a>. I actually write for it fairly regularly, about once a week. I recently wrote a particularly powerful and well-received article, so I figured I'd hit it up with some attention. Give it a few minutes of your time - it's worth it.<br />
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<a href="http://suite101.com/a/dystopian-reality-aaron-swartz-story#.UQ61T93HpM0.blogger">Dystopian Reality: The Aaron Swartz Story | Suite101</a>Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-246299609355348213.post-36854333003812118262013-01-21T10:41:00.000-08:002013-01-21T10:41:32.363-08:00Dystopian Lit Guest Post at BookGoodiesHowdy, sports fans!<br />
<br />I open with this line because if you're a sports fan, you're well aware of the Har-Bowl coming up? Sweet. I dislike that the Patriots made it that far, but at least they ain't gettin' another Super Bowl!<br />
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Moving on. <a href="http://bookgoodies.com/dreaming-of-nightmare-worlds-dystopia-guest-post-by-jesse-pohlman/">I recently submitted a guest post to BookGoodies.com</a>, and low-and-behold they posted it, today! This marks the second one they've posted by me, <a href="http://bookgoodies.com/nanowrimo-tips-from-jesse-pohlman/">the first being about NaNoWriMo</a>. It's about Dystopian literature (and art in general), and it serves as a fairly basic introduction to the genre. All in all its a fun, quick little read to get you into the spirit of nightmare worlds! I might write another one for them, one about <a href="http://theweeklyfreeporter.blogspot.com/">Hyper-Local Journalism</a>.<br />
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Moving on. Again! Today is a special day for me because it's <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Physics-Incarnate-ebook/dp/B00702TU98/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1358793353&sr=8-1&keywords=Jesse+Pohlman">the year-and-a-day of Physics Incarnate</a>. My precious little baby novel is getting so old! And as much as I'm <a href="http://rambleaboutwriting.blogspot.com/2013/01/why-i-love-video-game-music.html">working on its sequel and other projects</a>, I'm celebrating by <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Physics-Incarnate-ebook/dp/B00702TU98/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1358793353&sr=8-1&keywords=Jesse+Pohlman">having it as a free book on Kindle, today</a>. So, check it out!<br />
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Enjoy yourself, and stay safe!Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.com0Freeport, NY, USA40.653555043288392 -73.56445312540.557180543288389 -73.725814625 40.749929543288395 -73.403091625tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-246299609355348213.post-56704741991755978762013-01-20T19:15:00.001-08:002013-01-20T19:15:18.624-08:00Why I Love Video Game MusicSo. I've been writing. A lot. Whether its celebrating <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Physics-Incarnate-ebook/dp/B00702TU98/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1358736875&sr=8-1&keywords=Jesse+Pohlman">the one year anniversary of Physics Incarnate</a>, or working on a second season (and new site!) for my Lego comic <a href="http://chroniclesofalleron.blogspot.com/">Chronicles of Alleron</a>, or even editing Protostar and working on Physics Reincarnate, well, I've been busy.<br />
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And busy writers need music!<br />
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Now, I love bands <a href="http://silversunpickups.com/">like Silversun Pickups</a>, but as a young kid I played a <i>lot</i> of video games. Be it the 8-bit Nintendo, the 16-bit Super Nintendo, or the 16-bit Sega Genesis, music is just an awesome force. Video game music has, well, some really bad examples - and some awesome ones. Instead of focusing on lyrics, game soundtracks of that era had to create atmosphere. Entered into a dark cave? You need some seriously dark music. About to fight a boss? How about something fucking energetic?!<br />
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This is a re-iteration of a song from Secret of Mana called "Danger." It's mildly edited, but true to the original:<br />
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Between the loud, shocking notes of the opening, the grim rumbles of the middle, or the triumphant tones of the end of each cycle, well, hey - it's downright energetic, alright. It gives listeners a rush. It lets you know that <i>damn right</i> you are fighting for your life. But how about something else? How about something sad? How about Final Fantasy Six's Opera Scene?<br />
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Not only is the music <i>important</i>, it's a section of a game dedicated to a song! And that's awesome in and of itself. I'm a huge fan of this scene, and the song? Not bad, either. Another good tune I like is this diddy from Xenogears, a game I've talked a hell of a lot about, already:</div>
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One thing you might note is that, so far, all three of these games and their soundtracks belong to Squaresoft games. Two of them are 16-bit, and one is a Playstation One game. They're all roleplaying games. Is that a surprise? It shouldn't be - atmosphere is <i>huge</i> in these kind of games, and Square made a lot of RPGs at that time.</div>
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How about a Capcom game?</div>
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I know, that's another RPG on the SNES; but it's not Squaresoft, at least! Anyhow, if you were curious, here's Screwattack's top-10 music themes. Here's 10 more songs, and they're the top-10 <i>ever</i>. They took nominations. 15,000+ were offered. Wow.<br />
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Anyhow, I just wanted to give you a little taste of one of the influences of my writing. It's chaotic, it's random, it's weird - but it's there. This is just what I enjoy! And there's a clear reason for it, and I think I've proven my point.Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-246299609355348213.post-75939912551891701202012-12-20T18:26:00.001-08:002019-05-20T12:43:30.686-07:00Farewell, Cruel World! 12/21/12! ('Mayan Prophecies')So.<br />
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This is just a bit of a stream-of-consciousness. I'd heard about this Mayan prophecy schtick when I was a kid. I remember specifically hearing that inanimate objects and animals would join forces to kill us. Images of our pets going mad and of our toasters self-destructing around us filled the airwaves on that particular "Doomsday Prophecy" show.<br />
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My next interaction with the subject matter was actually through the game <a href="http://suite101.com/a/dystopian-review-shadowrun-rpg">Shadowrun, which I've just done a Dystopian Review of so that you can get a taste of it</a>! Anyway, Shadowrun portrays "The end of the world" in a more "...As we know it" sense, because life ticks on - it's just radically different!<br />
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The truth of the matter is that the Long Count does come to an end, and there's at least some scholarship I've read over the decades that indicates the Mayans were very good at astronomy, and so synced their calendar up with our little blue dot's travels. Fine. That doesn't make them fucking psychic. It sure as hell didn't help them against the Conquistadors! Okay, bad example; irrelevant, actually, and meant for a joke! But does that mean the world is doomed? No way. It just means the next Long Count starts!<br />
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Now, as a bit of a news nut, among other things, I've learned what "Threat Maps" are. There's your standard variety (in this case, the <a href="http://quakes.globalincidentmap.com/">Quakes segment of the Global Incident Map</a>), but my preferred map is the <a href="http://hisz.rsoe.hu/alertmap/index2.php">RSOE Emergency and Disaster Information Service</a>. It isn't always spot-on accurate or detailed, but when it comes to earthquakes, tsunami warnings, and near-earth objects (asteroids, friend!), it's pretty frikkin' accurate and quick to update. But it looks pretty clean to me, save for a thingie or two.<br />
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Naturally then, I started to wonder - <i>when</i> will the world end? If it ends on the 21st, does it end as soon as we hit 12:00 AM?: Do I set my alarm-clock for 11:58 and say my prayers? Chances are it'd be in a more west-coast or central time, as the Mayans were a Mexican tribe living on the Yucatan Penninsula, so there's that to consider! And what if we have the 21st to say goodbye, but it <i>actually</i> ends just before the 22nd?<br />
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I don't know. I have my doubts. It'd be cool if something happened, but instead of it being destructive it was beautiful. One person I know (who I'd argue is something of an extremist) reminded us of the Biblical line about knowing the hour - and that nobody will. It's from Revelations, but I only look up Bible quotes on special occasions, and I'm stream-of-consciousnessing.<br />
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I liken this whole situation to the Mayans holding the bag...That we put in their hands all on our own. If something - anything - happens, it can be considered as a disaster in keeping with the prophecy. Check out <a href="http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread909733/pg1">this thread at one of my favorite sites; it's based on seriously spurious information</a> with only the loosest possible connection to 12/21/12, but believers find ways to argue for anything. That's a double entendre, get it?!<br />
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LOL!<br />
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In all seriousness, though, be safe. The greatest danger isn't that the whole world ends, but that <i>one's own</i> world ends - you party too hard in anticipation of the end, get in the car unwisely, and crash. You die - <i>your</i> world ends - and it's for nothing! Nothing worse than a prophecy fulfilled by itself. And on that note, sweet dreams, all! I'll consider an alarm clock. Maybe a prayer. It can't hurt, can it?Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-246299609355348213.post-68994371371790281922012-12-02T19:25:00.001-08:002012-12-02T19:25:34.990-08:00Attacking Automated Job Application System AnnoyancesDear reader,<br />
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Today, I applied for a job. We've all been there, and many of us are pretty familiar with the process. First, we re-vamp the resume...<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrAz-1pbjQJyeCisuFVveea-jWQbNOL3E9QGSXtWOgMn0vO4r1QFet1_0do2rzq9NpsWqfwsgE2rLshAqzSPcwo1YnaFZ9RV-0pGAuLTEZT7yKZrhCz4FrK_5pEwUQpEWvJSagCC0Ar3g/s1600/resume.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrAz-1pbjQJyeCisuFVveea-jWQbNOL3E9QGSXtWOgMn0vO4r1QFet1_0do2rzq9NpsWqfwsgE2rLshAqzSPcwo1YnaFZ9RV-0pGAuLTEZT7yKZrhCz4FrK_5pEwUQpEWvJSagCC0Ar3g/s400/resume.jpg" width="371" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wanna hire me? I take consulting/promotional work!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Then we write up a cover-letter that tries to make us seem skilled without sounding self-centered. Then we just hit ctrl+p, grab an envelope and a stamp, and...<br />
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No, wait, that's not how most companies handle resumes anymore. And why should they? There are trees to protect! And not to mention that there are, like, tons of people applying for each job. Let's start by looking at the education field: I've competed against 800 people for a single, one-year-long job as a teacher. Assuming one can even keep one's resume down to one page (is that one too many ones?), that's two sheets for each person. Forget a "stack" of resumes, we're talking about an entire crate, easy. So, naturally, my area devised <a href="http://www.olasjobs.org/">an automated resume-handling system called "On-Line Application System," or OLAS</a>. If you think this article is going to complain about OLAS, you're wrong.<br />
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<br />
<b>The essence of an application system.</b><br />
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OLAS is actually a pretty well set up service, and corporations like <a href="http://www.bestbuy-jobs.com/">Best Buy</a>, <a href="http://careers.petco.com/index.asp">Petco</a>, and even the infamous <a href="http://www.mcdonalds.com/us/en/careers.html">McDonalds</a> sport similar systems. I'm familiar with one of the three I've just mentioned, as well as plenty of others representing smaller and more specialized entities, but they all have some key things in mind....<br />
<br />
- They allow applicants to create individual log-in names.<br />
- Under their log-in name, an applicant can upload, store, and edit their resumes. Cover letters are standard fare.<br />
- Search functions allow a job browser to look in their area for jobs they are qualified for. With new jobs being added all the time, employment seekers can check in every month or so to see if something has opened up! Eventually, that 97 year old janitor has to retire, right?<br />
- Once an appropriate job posting is found, all the user has to do is check a box and hit "apply!" Any necessary questions can be asked of the applicant at that time, and the resume/cover letter are automatically attached. Confirmation is sent directly to the applicant's e-mail address, so you know it wasn't "lost in the mail," and any future correspondence is handled privately.<br />
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For obvious reasons, this is a tremendous advantage to the job-seeker. I can't tell you how many publication packets, job applications, and other documents I've sent to an employer, only to have no idea whether it all made it to it's destination, or if they ended up taking a vacation in Aruba, instead. Having knowledge that your application was received is relieving. That doesn't mean it'll be seen, and it doesn't give you a clue of how many people are applying for the same position, but at least you know it's there. The point isn't to make your odds better, it's to make your life - and the employer's life - a little easier.<br />
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With all of these advantages, and with all of the features that a relatively old model like OLAS has built into it, how can an application system be built wrong? And, perhaps more importantly, what does it mean to the applicant?<br />
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<br />
<b>How to mess up simple things.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
Let's start with resume storage. OLAS is going to serve as my "go to" example of a well-designed service. On OLAS, you've got a resume and a profile all your own. It's practically part of the signing up process, and all you need to do to update your resume is to upload a new .doc (or other acceptable format) document. From there, any job you select and hit the "apply" button to? Your resume is instantly sent. This is pretty self-explanatory. Yet today, as I was trying to upload my resume, the system I was working with worked on the premise of making you create a profile without an attached resume. Each job you apply for? You upload your resume again and again.<br />
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Okay, so that's annoying, but what about cover letters themselves? Well, with the business I applied to work at today, cover letters had to be attached to the same document you were attaching your resume to. This means that you need to create a unique file just for that job. If six positions exist, each one just a bit different than the other, you need to make six files. Is it any different than the old days? Maybe not, but it's frustrating. It's easy to forget to include your resume, or to send the wrong file. OLAS, on the other hand, allows you to attach "Job-specific cover letters," as well as a "generic" model. You can do this independently of uploading your resume.<br />
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Let's move on to the actual job search interface. What I was working with today might as well have never heard of Google. It instantly spit out 190+ jobs, with no easily-found way to narrow the search down. When you're looking to work at a specific location, it's pretty ludicrous to have to flip through ten-job-per-page listings which aren't even in alphabetical order. OLAS? It organizes by region, and once you select the region you need it goes to alphabetical order. Simple, if not perfect.<br />
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Now for something that's a personal pet peeve of <i>any</i> interface design, be it job applications, shopping, or whatever. Even when you narrow your listing down to the eight jobs you might be interested in, you're only getting the name of the job title, right? So you want to investigate each one individually, just like you were reading each article in a newspaper. The standard way to do this is to right-click on the link to the full description, then select "Open in new tab." Ordinarily, this works just fine, and you get a brand new browser tab with a full description of the job you're planning to apply to. With the system I worked on today? It just opened a blank, broken tab. So the only way to view the job is to effectively close your search out.<br />
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That's annoying, but here's where it gets downright frustrating. Here's where any reasonably intelligent person will get irked that "they" can't get it "right." Let's say, as happened to me, that you look at the first job and it's not what you were expecting. Maybe you clicked it by accident, and you really wanted to check out the second one in the list. Naturally, the site has a "Back" button that takes you back to your search, right? I mean, that's just basic, right? But, no, it completely re-sets your search.<br />
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So to review: Somehow, more than ten years into the twenty-first century, these folks have made signing up to the system unnecessarily difficult; they've made searching for a job a frustrating exercise in repeatedly re-executing searches; and they've even managed to make the actual process of applying complicated. All of this after it's been well proven that you can design a system to handle each of these things with one or two button clicks. And they aren't alone.<br />
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<b>If you aren't hiring, don't solicit. If you are, do it right.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
Now, I'm an honest guy. In a way, I'm just complaining about simple little nuisances. Life is about getting through these simple little nuisances. Certainly a job is about getting through the rough patches in order to enjoy the good ones! And when you're only looking to apply to one or two jobs, these kind of nuisances really don't seem like a big deal.<br />
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But here's why it's just not right. Let's use our imagination.<br />
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You're a job applicant. You're looking for a new career, and you're serious. So you are searching high and low, applying wherever you can. You've spent a couple hours fixing things up on your resume and practicing your cover letter writing. Now it's time for you to search. It takes you <i>ten</i> minutes to find a suitable job. You need another <i>ten</i> minutes to initiate the process of applying. That's twenty minutes. You attempt to return to the previous search, but it's cancelled out; you need <i>another ten</i> minutes to find another job to apply to. Then, because of poor design, you need to repeat the laundry list of application requirements; <i>another ten minutes</i>.<br />
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Instead of applying to two jobs in twenty minutes, your pace is now cut to one in twenty; or, two in forty. Now you want to apply to a third. Let's assume you're better prepared to face the technical nightmare, so you cut the application and search processes in half. You've now taken fifty minutes to apply to three jobs. To apply to a fourth requires another ten - that's 4 jobs in one hour. That's a lot of time, time you could be spending on your family or a hobby or on taking care of chores.<br />
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"So what? Deal with it!" is the usual response. "Everyone else has to put up with it, too, so just do it" is the other one. Here's why that's a bad mindset, both from the applicant's perspective, as well as the businesses'.<br />
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As the applicant, you're sitting here dealing with this annoying process that's soaking up your time, right? Well, you could easily just go...Apply to a different business! Yes! After all, if your initial impression of your potential employer is that they are so inept they can't even design a system that's convenient (or pay someone else to do it), how are you going to take them seriously as a place to build a career? <a href="http://business.time.com/2012/11/30/5-reasons-your-top-employee-isnt-happy/">Time Magazine addresses these kinds of issues in an article about "top employees,"</a> and is it any wonder that one of the reasons a super-star might not be happy with their employer is "under-utilization?" Or that another one is "condoning mediocrity?" If you're a business looking to hire skilled workers, shouldn't your application system <i>demonstrate some skill?</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<b>The business of business is <i>good</i> business.</b><br />
<i><br /></i>
Let's get back to the business' perspective. You want the best candidates, right? So you want to make it as convenient and painless as possible for applicants to apply, just like you'd make shopping at your store as simple as you can to make your clients happy! Yes, you might get eight hundred applications, and you might even get eight hundred <i>well qualified</i> candidates, but isn't that better than getting zero? Oh, and here's another thing; chances are that if your application system scares off an applicant, they're still looking for a job in the field that you do business in, right? What happens when your competition starts getting the best recruits?<br />
<br />
Imagine if Amazon made it tough to hire visionary designers, and they chose to work at Barnes and Noble instead. I know, crazy, right? I mean, g<a href="http://www.deadline.com/2012/11/barnes-noble-fiscal-q2-earnings/">iven how the website Deadline reports B&N's fiscal results</a>, clearly it's already lost that war, yeah? But only because Amazon <i>had those designers in the first place</i>. That edge is not guaranteed. If Amazon treated its employees like crap, and - as a company reputed to be tech-savvy - made it's employment system look like it was slapped together by a drunk ape, chances are it would stop getting good recruits.<br />
<br />
Instead, they'd start getting good competition. And not in the "friendly chess game" kind of competition.Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-246299609355348213.post-7993024991912109142012-11-20T19:12:00.000-08:002012-11-20T19:12:10.681-08:00Ruminations On Hurricane Sandy Coverage! Physics Incarnate Promotion! More!Howdy, readers!<br />
<br />
I haven't posted in Ramble about Writing for a while, mainly because I was <a href="http://www.theweeklyfreeporter.blogspot.com/2012/10/sandys-aftermathvideos-3-4-5-interviews.html">covering Hurricane Sandy for The Weekly Freeporter</a>. So, first things first, I want to talk about what I did, there!<br /><br />
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<br />
<b>Hurricane Sandy</b><br />
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On the day after this disaster, I worked alongside my colleague Jason Bass. We went through Freeport (our home-town) and Long Beach (another nearby hamlet), surveying the devastation. We interviewed some residents. You can see all of the coverage at <a href="http://www.theweeklyfreeporter.blogspot.com/2012/10/sandy-11-photo-tour-of-freeport.html">The Weekly Freeporter's webpage</a>. But, probably, this is my favorite example of this work, though you'll have to forgive the wind...<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/6QAmupY1Zyo" width="560"></iframe>
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Covering the hurricane was exhausting, but kind of rewarding in a very sad way. We provided a service that wasn't provided by <i>any</i> other entity, public or private. From the comments and feedback we received, we honestly were the best information source in our town - vastly superior to what has been criticized as an inept attempt by the Village government to get facts to its residents. In fact, on this medium I am rather free to say that "inept" is a gentle way to put it; "fucking failure" is more accurate.<br />
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Actually visiting these devastated places really made the difference, for me, between a picture on Facebook and reality. Seeing the damage done, like to the house in the above clip? I mean, you can tell by my expression just how overwhelming it really was. But to try to tell you what it was like? Words really don't convey it. The wind was still really strong; rain still fell; it was really cold; water was still in the road. Oh, and probably most of all, there were burned and otherwise brutalized houses all around us. There were people struggling to figure out where to begin to put their lives back together - or, at least, to figure out what to try to throw out, first.<br />
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Fortunately, I only lost my basement. Sure, we're <i>still</i> without hot water. We still have to rely on electric heating. No washer/dryer, yet. But our living quarters are unharmed, and our overall health hasn't suffered. For many, they have no place left to go to. The people in the above clip? They have no home. I have family members whose homes have been condemned; never mind my next-door neighbors and the folks across the street, or the childhood friend whose parents are "Red Tagged."<br />
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In a way I'm glad I got in to see the damage first-hand, right after the fact. I know I said that, on the grand scale, this storm wasn't as bad as Hurricane Katrina. It wasn't. That storm inundated an entire region, some parts of it irreversibly. The more I think about it, however, the more I realize that for so many of my friends and family, it might as well have been. Look at this:<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/12871_10100757216818334_1254311933_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/12871_10100757216818334_1254311933_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Long Beach, NY: Jesse Pohlman/Jason Bass/The Weekly Freeporter</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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So, on the outside these buildings don't look that badly damaged. That car just looks like it's stuck in a puddle. But that puddle? That used to be in the ocean. It came in over waves that hit at least ten feet in height at times. That car was submerged - or, perhaps, floating! Speaking of floating, y'know those pipes that run underground and carry nasty stuff away from our homes? Sewage was floating, too! Even the sand was probably not the healthiest stuff to walk on. Any damage to building foundations can cause gas leaks; I know of at least one <i>explosion</i> in Freeport, though surprisingly the home may be saved.<br />
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It's easy to say that burning to death is worse than being shot in the head, but the end result is the same: You're dead. For so many, it doesn't matter if the losses came at the hands of 15 foot waves or 30 foot waves. They are losses all the same.<br />
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So let's move on to something a little less depressing: Thanksgiving!<br />
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<br />
<b>Physics Incarnate Promotion!</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
Thursday is Thanksgiving, Friday is "Black Friday," and Saturday is Small Business Day, right? Well, I've decided to run <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Physics-Incarnate-Jesse-Pohlman/dp/0615591566/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1353465330&sr=8-1&keywords=Jesse+Pohlman">a promotion for my latest novel, <i>Physics Incarnate</i></a>, under which it will be <i>free</i> on Amazon's Kindle! There's an obvious self-serving motive, here, in that it'll boost my sales numbers and make it seem like I'm doing really great when in reality sales are merely good.<br />
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On the other hand, I have to admit that I'm doing this to give something, however small, to those families suffering from Sandy and other tragedies. On Thanksgiving, it's a matter of being thankful. On Black Friday, it's a matter of...Well, hell, I guess you could say it's supporting those who are striking against Walmart? Or maybe it's just blatant consumerism on my behalf, trying to hock my wares on a day when so many people will be shopping the world over. And how about Saturday? Technically, my publishing efforts are a small and independent business.<br />
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So Physics Incarnate for all with a Kindle!<br />
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<b>Future Projects For Jesse Pohlman</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<i>Protostar</i><br />
<br />
First of all, I have to eventually finish editing and post the last chapter of <i>Protostar</i>. For those who don't remember (or just aren't aware!), <a href="http://protostarafreenovel.blogspot.com/2012/04/protostar-chapter-one-complete.html">Protostar is a novel I wrote for National Novel Writing Month last year, and I have serialized it for free on it's very own blog-spot</a>! However, due to a number of factors (Mostly that Blogger is kind of a buggy service), I have yet to actually finish serializing the book! It's all finished, and while it needs a nice bit of editing I would like to get it posted.<br />
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Once it's been out for about a week, I will probably edit it once again and perhaps add a scene or two. It's original design was to have very short clips posted, so I constantly re-used character names and descriptions when I could have introduced new ideas. This helped me hit that 50,000 word <a href="http://www.nanowrimo.org/">NaNoWriMo goal</a>, but I don't feel like it helped the work as a whole. Once that edit is finished, I will probably release it as a Kindle exclusive.<br />
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<i>Physics Incarnate Projects</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
So...A while ago I commissioned a couple test sketches for a <i>Physics Incarnate</i> comic book. I don't have the art skill to draw it, and the person who I commissioned the work from actually lost his home in the storm, so it's unlikely that any comic project will be manifesting itself any time soon.<br />
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Perhaps with that in mind, I'd like to create a "book trailer." I'm not sure if it's possible or not, but it would function like any trailer to a movie, video game, or - yes - novel. It'd have actors, and I'd post it on youtube. However, again, feasibility is a question. Speaking of questions, here's one I get a lot...<br />
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"Will you write a sequel?"<br />
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I originally wrote <i>Physics Incarnate</i> as a single novel. Straight to the end it was meant to leave the reader with an impression that there was a larger world out there, but that Emmett's story was complete. Whatever specific events might happen in the future, his general path is clear. However, I got to thinking about James Lowery, the Irishman who loves "his" ladies. I realized that Jim has a really amusing way about himself, never mind the fact that he has a story to tell all his own.<br />
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It's a story that would have to include the way James and the others were swept into their conspiracy. It'd have to involve Emmett heavily, since James' story would be far from a prequel. Therefore, even if the focus isn't on Emmett and even if <i>he</i> has few surprises left to share, there are other folders in the maximum-security safe at Lowery Security Services which might or might not need to be addressed. So, yes...<br />
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I <i>am </i>about halfway through with "Physics Reincarnate." Spoilers: James' accent is really hard to understand, sometimes.<br />
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<i>Besides Physics and Protostar</i>?<br />
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I'm honestly not sure. I'm always coming up with new ideas. Many of them fizzle out. Some of them are great, but unfeasible or not my style. I'd like to eventually finish the Pillars of the Kingdom trilogy, and I owe a little explanation about this one. Put simply?<br />
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Volumes One and Two are published via Lulu, which is an inferior and less direct means of distribution than Amazon. This leaves me at a crossroads as to how to progress with it as a feasible project. Writing-wise, I already am about 80% done with the novel, with only 2-3 major scenes to go. The problem <i>there</i> is that Pillars of the Kingdom is a completely different type of art than <i>Physics Incarnate</i> was. <i>PI</i> includes conspiracies, mysteries, red herrings; it's about questioning the ethics of what the characters do. At what point do Emmett and his colleagues become evil, and at what point are they good?<br />
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Pillars is really, quite simply about Jacin, Branden, Clarice, and the rest just punching the shit out of rather unambiguously evil demigods, and saving the Kingdom of Emor from monsters (and men who might as well be monsters).<br />
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Writing a story about fisticuffs is great, alright, but is it going to satisfy me? I dunno. I've also always wanted to go back and re-engineer <i>Memoirs of a Miscreant</i>, but I'd be starting from square one. Then there's another project I came up with; then there's political writing; then, perhaps, there's the chance of me writing a novel based on the roleplaying community I've been affiliated with for years.<br />
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We shall see. All I can promise is that I'll keep creating things!Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-246299609355348213.post-81033771986961789662012-11-07T20:48:00.002-08:002012-11-08T14:29:19.533-08:00My Five Favorite Super-VillainsSuper-Villains. Some are iconic, others forgotten, and others never-known-of. Yet one and all they are threats to the whole, wide world! What makes a bad guy transcend the ordinary status of "bank robbing prick?" What pushes them into the category of an arch-villain? Is it their flair? Their supernatural powers? Their corresponding heroes who struggle to stop them? It can be any of those things! And there are literally thousands to choose from, so where do we begin? What are the criteria <i>I'm</i> using? Here's the bullet-point list!<br />
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- Character depth and development.<br />
- Powers.<br />
- How well the character succeeds at his/her/its ambitions.<br />
- Notable pawns.<br />
- One character per franchise (this one hurts).<br />
- Oh, and no characters from any of my novels, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Physics-Incarnate-ebook/dp/B00702TU98/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1352346562&sr=8-2&keywords=Jesse+Pohlman">especially Physics Incarnate</a>, are allowed.<br />
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So here's my personal top-5; enjoy it with the reminder that, frankly, there <i>will</i> be spoilers.<br />
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<h2>
#5: Magneto (X-Men/Marvel Universe)</h2>
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<b>Powers: Control over magnetism, obtained via mutation; Genius-level intellect; Strategic mastermind skills.</b></div>
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Who doesn't know this guy?</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://i.annihil.us/u/prod/marvel//universe3zx/images/thumb/9/90/Magneto_430.jpg/406px-Magneto_430.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://i.annihil.us/u/prod/marvel//universe3zx/images/thumb/9/90/Magneto_430.jpg/406px-Magneto_430.jpg" width="343" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Magneto; image sourced from Marvel.com</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Magneto is a mutant; and one of the most powerful of them all, at that! As with all too many of the legendary comic book characters (see: Superman), "power creep" has set in on old Magneto. His ability to control magnetism, at least in the first comics he appeared in, extended largely to control over magnetic objects. As physics evolved, well, so did his powers. Flight? Check, but understandable - magnetism and gravity have theoretical ties, at least! Leadership skills? Eh, he's a survivor, so check! Genius-level intellect? Pushing it, but check!<br />
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The thing that makes Magneto such an attractive character is his history and how it plays out. Magneto experienced the Holocaust first-hand, suffering greatly under Hitler's genocidal, racist regime. After the war, and after Mutant-kind began to experience the oppressive fear of Human-kind, he vowed (for lack of a better term) to never again be on the side of the oppressed. Oh, and guess who just happens to be one of the mightiest mutants on the planet? Right. So it was a quick psychological step that if mankind wanted a war, he was going to end mankind.<br />
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Depending on the era or universe, Magneto is anything from an amnesiac X-Man (I'm lookin' at you, Onslaught storyline!) to a genocidal madman. And that's what makes Magneto both amazing and not-so-amazing: Those long-term comic cycles get confusing, and reboots/reimaginings become difficult to keep up with.</div>
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<h2>
#4: Deus (Xenogears)</h2>
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<b>Powers: Access to Zohar Modifier; Nano-mechanical regeneration; Interaction with computer networks; Genesis.</b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
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<a href="http://rambleaboutwriting.blogspot.com/2012/10/cancelled-before-prime-time.html">I'm biased, because I loved Xenogears</a>. But wait! <i>This</i> guy was the main villain? Those are just words on a screen!</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/3/31816/1040642-youshallbeasgods.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="290" src="http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/3/31816/1040642-youshallbeasgods.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Deus? Via Giantbomb.com</td></tr>
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So what is that? Well, that is a screen-shot of Deus half-taunting, half-welcoming the human crew of the <i>Eldridge</i>, a space vessel of dubious origin. Deus is the name of a truly nightmarish weapon: A part-machine, part-organic entity which feeds off of the Zohar Modifier. Zohar is the de-facto name of the "wave existence," a fourth-dimensional entity of such monstrous power that it makes magic, powers most of the giant war-making robots, and has been in existence for over ten thousand years.</div>
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Deus itself is artificially intelligent and was apparently designed for making wars. It did this a little bit too well, so it wound up dismantled and shoved on the <i>Eldridge</i> in the interest of, y'know, not going extinct. Of course, nothing goes according to plan. Deus "wakes up," to minimize spoilers, and takes over the ship. The Captain blows it up, and the whole thing crash-lands on a nearby uninhabited planet. Ten thousand years later, Krelian (a nano-technological genius) rebuilds it, merges his body with it, and basically annihilates a world.</div>
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Deus is generally passive. Sure, he basically created all of humankind in this universe, intending to create biomass to replace its destroyed parts. And, sure, without the intervention of other entities Deus might never have succeeded in its goals. But it sure manipulated one character into manipulating another into...Yeah. The entire plot is because Deus exists. Go figure.</div>
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#3: The Joker (The Dark Knight)</h2>
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<b>Powers: Resistance to pain; Criminal mastermind; Really damn scary.</b></div>
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Wait. No way is this guy only #3?! Really? <i>Really</i>?!</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://moviesmedia.ign.com/movies/image/article/109/1094767/joker_1275674595.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="257" src="http://moviesmedia.ign.com/movies/image/article/109/1094767/joker_1275674595.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Heath Ledger as The Joker; image via IGN.com</td></tr>
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I have to admit, this guy is one of the scariest bad guys you'll see. <i>Any</i> Joker incarnation - even Cesar Romero's - is good. Heath Ledgers' is...Scary. I mean, when you get right down to it, his capacity for direct and brutal evil is only matched by his planning skills. In retrospect, in my humble opinion he beats - hands-down - both his predecessors and successors sent by the League of Shadows to destroy Gotham. In so many ways, he doesn't just do damage to his enemies - he beats them. He chases them out of Gotham, he takes the most heroic people in the city and corrupts them, and he kills a whole bunch of people in the process. How isn't he #1? Or at least #2?</div>
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Besides the strength of the next two characters, part of it is this incarnation's length-of-service. Yes, Heath Ledger's passing was horrific and a tragic loss. And, yes, it could be strongly argued that replacing Ledger for The Dark Knight Rises would have been a slap in the face. On the other hand, The Joker is hardly worth a mention in the sequel; not mentioned once, if I recall my viewing, while even The Scarecrow gets more recognition.</div>
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Additionally, while The Joker has no actual powers in this incarnation, and while there are many others just like him, his ultimate level of success depends on a lot on the suspension of disbelief. We're meant to feel like he truly turned Two-Face evil, like it was part of some great plan to prove how easily the good in the world can fall. Absolutely, positively not the case - if Dent had been uninjured or died, it wouldn't have mattered. Oh, we know the story is going to take us there! But we also can accept that, yes, the Joker got a lot of lucky breaks.</div>
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#2: Doctor Girlfriend (The Venture Brothers)</h2>
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<b>Powers: Doctorate in Evil, Martial Arts; Extraordinary Wealth, Deep Voice</b></div>
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That "One Character Per Franchise" limit really kills me, here. I mean, <i>really</i>. For starters, look at her...</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPAoa5OUqBegCWVk8U4mquXWfWsqybiSER7rcAX2mB2jx2pNlc8T0Q8yfUJHyQ_cxDxCfQzRD6NjCfEn7YCXD4kfRJ8IlU-IZQfOcibJmYEhPbcNxPQ4bMKnhOKXv2VuKih8sZS8q-NoQ/s748/venture30804.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPAoa5OUqBegCWVk8U4mquXWfWsqybiSER7rcAX2mB2jx2pNlc8T0Q8yfUJHyQ_cxDxCfQzRD6NjCfEn7YCXD4kfRJ8IlU-IZQfOcibJmYEhPbcNxPQ4bMKnhOKXv2VuKih8sZS8q-NoQ/s748/venture30804.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image via <a href="http://drgirlfriendcostumesandcouture.blogspot.com/">http://drgirlfriendcostumesandcouture.blogspot.com/</a></td></tr>
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So what's her deal? Doctor Girlfriend (Now, Dr. Mrs. The Monarch) is married (AKA within a Duoship) with The Monarch. Her skills are simple - she is a genius with a doctorate in evil. Let's count her accomplishments...</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
- Designing the functioning wings on The Monarch's armor.</div>
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- She analyzes the dead skin cells from The Monarch's sunburns to trace the superhero Captain Sunshine's lair.<br />
- Her manipulative abilities are so precise that she convinces #21 (a top-ranking henchman) to "go on strike" in order to break The Monarch out of one of his many loony escapades.</div>
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- She kills about five Blackguards in hand-to-hand combat. With ease.</div>
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- Finally, she seduces and poisons Doctor Venture, only sparing him out of mercy.</div>
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Now, The Monarch is the "main" bad guy in his organization, at least until the official Duoship between the two begins in Season Three. There's also Phantom Limb, who is seriously worthy of mention. Then there's Dragoon/Red Mantle, who deserve some attention. But Dr. Girlfriend wins out - she has to, because unlike all of those others she has a certain level of composure and confidence that the others don't.</div>
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<h2>
#1: Crake (Oryx and Crake/Maddaddam Trilogy)</h2>
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<b>Powers: Genius intellect in the fields of genetic splicing, computer hacking, philosophy.</b></div>
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"Who the hell is Crake?" you ask.</div>
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I answer, "The most awesome villain ever."</div>
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Oryx-Crake-Margaret-Atwood/dp/0385721676"><i>Oryx and Crake</i> is a novel by Margaret Atwood</a>. It was originally written as a stand-alone novel, but is now part of the Maddaddam Trilogy (the final novel, <i>Maddaddam</i>, is due out in 2013), with <i>The Year Of The Flood</i> serving as the middle book. Crake is a real beast for one simple reason:<br />
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He extinguishes 99% of the human population, and only extraordinary circumstances thwart him.</div>
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Crake isn't perfect. By the end of the first novel, we learn that Snowman is <i>not</i> the only one left alive. I feel okay spoiling that because <i>Oryx and Crake</i> is nearly ten years old, now, and because <i>The Year Of The Flood</i> adds so much more to Crake's backstory than the first novel provides. Nevertheless, allow me to play at exposition:</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
Crake began life as Glenn, whose parents worked for a major corporation called HelthWyzer. His father "commits suicide" when, as we later learn, he discovers HelthWyzer and other companies like it have been curing diseases...Only to create new ones to cure. As Glenn is capable of hacking his dad's e-mails, he loses faith in the corporate system. Even though he embraces a true friendship with the novel's protagonist, their unusual pursuits (watching live executions, among others) in a rather nightmarish near-future world leaves Glenn without much hope for humanity.</div>
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The two visit the website "Extinctathon," where each player takes the name of a now-extinct animal. Glenn chooses the Rednecked Crake, and begins to worm his way in with "Maddaddam." Very early on in the novel, we learn Crake is responsible for an apocalypse. He applies his genius at genetic rearrangement to create the BlyssPlus pill. It cures all STDs, it enhances sexual performance, and more! Like, say, spreading a super-infectious disease which annihilates the bulk of the population! That qualifies him for a spot on this post, but what makes him #1?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
That'd be the second phase of his plan, the Children of Crake - or the Crakers. Genetically re-built humans, almost a species unto themselves, threaten to be all that remains of mankind. Oh, the protagonist is there, too - Crake intentionally spares his old friend, for reasons which are left unclear. Was he just sentimental to his dear friend? Did he view him as the only human worth allowing to live? Did he just want our hero to take care of his creation after he died? Or - being a genius - did he anticipate that others would probably find some way to survive, and his friend (being a wise man) would possibly serve to help govern the rebuilding of mankind?</div>
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<br /></div>
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Crake ain't alive to tell us, but his message is simple: He's a good guy, like so many others on this list believe they are, who tries to make the world a better place through ways that are, of course, completely insane.</div>
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Seriously, go buy this book.</div>
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<b>HONORABLE MENTION</b>: Darth Vader</div>
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- If I went based on the original trilogy, Vader might squeak into #5. He's iconic, he's got goals. Since I've seen the prequels, I just can't do it. Also, even in the original trilogy, he really is just a lackey for the Emperor; everyone on this list is either #1 in their organization, a pseudo-deity manipulating others in extraordinarily subtle ways, or at the very least an equal partner in their organization's leadership. Vader isn't equal, he's not even close.</div>
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<b>Final note</b>: This list could always change. If <i>Maddaddam</i> comes out and makes Crake a pussy (I realllllly don't think that'll happen, I'm aching for that book), or if a new character emerges to take control of this list by force, then it is what it is. Hell, in five years I might have a completely different top five! But for now, for where I sit, this is it.</div>
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I hope you've enjoyed!</div>
Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-246299609355348213.post-2050793384036410472012-10-21T16:45:00.002-07:002012-10-21T16:45:31.650-07:00Cancelled Before Prime Time: Xenogears/XenosagaIn my last article, <a href="http://rambleaboutwriting.blogspot.com/2012/10/five-projects-i-wish-id-worked-on.html">five projects I wish I could have worked on</a>, I placed Xenogears at #1. Xenogears was a video-game, not a book or a TV show or magazine. I suppose I could have placed it at #2 and put The Economist, a British newspaper, as #1; but that weekly publication is ongoing and going strong, and maybe some day I will be worthy of such an honor. The point of the list was to mention series or shows that were no longer being produced, or were probably going to be full-up on staff for a long time.<br />
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It's only fitting that I make Xenogears, a Playstation One game by Squaresoft released in America in 1998, and it's "spiritual successor" trilogy Xenosaga, the next subject of my own little series, the one you're reading now!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgberZ7Jqo70NlAuJt2rGwCXHjiePmB8ZwyJfaLbxasYDKdFo2hb9w22coC_rLwfF-GI8Nk_vrUqlYCYKf7zCA0ah1Eox9-s_wL1vlsuPllB-UQsC-J4LW3ZYUls837wf41bDyBu7bY-iU/s1600/Xenogears_box.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgberZ7Jqo70NlAuJt2rGwCXHjiePmB8ZwyJfaLbxasYDKdFo2hb9w22coC_rLwfF-GI8Nk_vrUqlYCYKf7zCA0ah1Eox9-s_wL1vlsuPllB-UQsC-J4LW3ZYUls837wf41bDyBu7bY-iU/s320/Xenogears_box.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Xenogears; Image via Wikipedia, copyright Squaresoft</td></tr>
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<b>Xenogears: Stand Tall And Shake The Heavens</b><br />
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As I said in my previous article, Xenogears is a very complicated game. Spoiler alert - it involves reincarnation, psychological melodrama, and the reinterpretation of the Bible in order to create a new mythology. Giant robots called Gears fight one another, always a pleasure. The primary character, Fei Fong Wong, is an amnesiac who has lived in a peaceful little village for three years; a village which so far has been spared the fall-out from a war between two nearby nations. <br />
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Since this is a Squaresoft game from the PS1 era, you probably already know the village is doomed.<br />
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The long and short of it is that Fei is a destined figure, existing more or less at the whim of some supernatural fourth-dimensional power called Zohar, which has been shackled by ancient peoples to power a super-weapon, Deus. I wouldn't spoil the nature of those ancient peoples, but the game'll do that within the first anime sequence, so I'll make it simple - it's aliens, humans from another world. Deus is evil and it's keeping Zohar imprisoned - not to mention messing with humankind as a whole. So, Fei's job is to kill that super-weapon, this world's version of "God," thus freeing this "wave existence," and generally liberating the world from it's heritage.<br />
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It sounds like your standard cliche set-up of destroying the bad guy to save everyone, but what made Xenogears awesome was the way it was written. Ten thousand years of history are brought up in this world's final battle against Deus. Multiple lifetimes culminate in this one final show-down. The second half of the game plays in some ways similar to a novel, with exposition (occasionally too heavy to bear, but we'll get to why) replacing the usual monotony of "Buy gear, explore dungeon, find better gear, fight boss, dialogue, buy more gear" that roleplaying-games take.<br />
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The biggest problem with Xenogears, also as I mentioned, was that it's final production was rushed - especially with regards to its conversion into English. People have surfed through the data and found plenty of incomplete scenes, and a follow-up book called <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/29956195@N08/sets/72157616593453778/">Xenogears: Perfect Works</a> has a full explanation of what exactly Xenogears is about. As a result, the later half of the game is a bit awkward, with some confusing changes-of-scenery that can be irksome primarily because they aren't well executed.<br />
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One final issue of curiosity is that, as expansive as Xenogears itself is, it is described in a very Star Wars manner as "episode five", of six. That's right - a 40+ hour game is only one part of a six part story, and interestingly enough it's the second-to-last one.<br />
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And that brings us to...<br />
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<b>Xenosaga: Follow-Up To A Cult Classic</b><br />
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Before any follow-up plans could be executed, the creator of Xenogears (who'd worked on a number of Final Fantasy games, to boot), Tetsuya Takahashi, left Squaresoft and found his way to Namco's doorstep. He got authorization, under his own sub-company called Monolith Soft, to create Xenosaga, a Playstation Two game series which served as a "spiritual successor" to Xenogears. Episode One was set well after the discovery of the Zohar on Earth, which by the way has long since been ditched. Mankind has built an interstellar empire. Nanotechnology, giant robots (similar to the Gears from Xenogears), android and starships abound. Rebels fight federal forces - it sounds a little cliche, to start! If that sounds familiar, it's because Xenogears starts off that way, too!<br />
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At the onset of Episode One, however, humanity faces a crisis. Aliens called Gnosis are invading, and they are not to be trifled with. They're ethereal, for lack of a better term, and it takes special technology to even be able to interact with them. As the plot progresses, all sorts of conspiracies are unearthed. The Zohar is fought over by some, while it's destiny is explored by others. Three episodes were made, and unlike Xenogears the three games were chronologically condensed - characters from the first are alive during the third. The series was planned to run for six episodes, but halfway through it got the axe.<br />
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I have to admit, I'm part of the problem here; I played Xenosaga: Episode One, and I believe I've played a bit of Episode Two as well. I've never played Episode Three, and as we know, low sales can lead to series cancellations. Others chalk this collapse up to internal collapse; Takahashi and others either changed their level of involvement, or left the project before its completion. With the old links to Xenogears drying up, Namco called it quits; eventually it sold its stake in Monolith Soft to Nintendo.<br />
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However, I feel like Xenosaga ran into a second problem, one that I don't think any amount of sales were going to solve: Xenosaga was Episodes 1, 2, and 3. Xenogears is Episode 5. What would Episode 4 and Episode 6 be? As it was only a "spiritual successor," would Xenogears be essentially re-made and re-written? Most importantly, how quickly would Squaresoft sue? After all, it held the rights to Episode 5, or at least what we figured Episode Five to be. So what would happen?<br />
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<br />
<b>The Fate of the Xeno-Games</b><br />
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I love playing little fantasies out.<br />
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Well, Episode Three apparently leaves off with the characters searching for Earth. I can imagine Episode Four as a relatively simple sketch; Zohar is harnessed, and ultimately the characters attempt to stop Deus from being constructed. They fail, because they have to, and they fight to save their world by shipping Deus off.<br />
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Episode Five is Xenogears. It isn't changed, although if it were possible it'd be awesome for it to be cleaned up and re-released.<br />
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Xenosaga Six, however, is what's interesting. I'd like to give a little shine to one person's project; Bobbincranbud created "<a href="http://bobbincranbud.com/bobbincranbudpresents/xenoatf/index.html">Xenogears: After The Fall</a>," a serialized "after-the-end" that really helped shape my early writing career. It's fascinating, but it doesn't serve as much of a conclusion for what Xenosaga ultimately became - an interplanetary, interdimensional conflict. Xenogears, after all, comes off as more of an explanation of what happened to Zohar and how it finally sought to achieve liberation.<br />
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What about the rest of the universe, the one that Deus bailed on ten thousand years ago? Was the liberated Zohar the only one of it's kind? Well, we know there are "emulators" that are tied into it - was Deus' just one of those, or was it the real deal?<br />
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I suppose I envision a sixth game wherein the humans who survived Xenogears have rebuilt their world and, eventually, make contact with the humans that originally sent Deus away. The Gnosis still exist, after all, and while Deus was clearly designed to fight against a superior foe (say, aliens that are very hard to injure without special powers?), it ultimately was only one project.<br />
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Will we ever find out what Takahashi and the series' creators wanted? Probably not. Despite the title, Takahashi's latest work, "Xenoblade Chronicles," isn't tied into the Xenogears/Saga world. Namco no longer owns the rights to Xenosaga, and Squaresoft only has the rights to Xenogears. Nintendo is far from the boat-shaker that is required to produce such cerebral works. They make great Mario games, but they're the last people I'd imagine raising Biblical allegories and committing what some might consider to be sacrilege.<br />
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Whatever the case, it's a truly tragic loss that neither one of the original visions (Xenogears Episode 1-4, 6; or Xenosaga 4-6) were completed. And there's always hope - after all, Xenoblade Chronicles required a lot of effort to be ported over to America, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Rainfall">and Operation: Rainfall succeeded</a>, so you never know...Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-246299609355348213.post-64454150685271636792012-10-16T12:46:00.001-07:002012-10-16T12:46:23.329-07:00Five Projects I Wish I'd Worked OnAs a writer, there's plenty of opportunity in the world. Sometimes, however, you don't get to work on the very best creative projects you will ever see. Others, you just aren't old enough; other times, you aren't known enough. Finally, a lot of times those projects come to an end at some point before they even get started - they had potential, but they just drifted away.<br />
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Here are five projects, heavy-in-writing, that I wish I had been able to work on.<br />
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<b>#5: Undergrads</b><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sitcomsonline.com</td></tr>
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I've <a href="http://rambleaboutwriting.blogspot.com/2012/08/cancelled-before-prime-time-undergrads.html">talked about Undergrads before</a>, so fully detailing that series would be a grievous misuse of my powers. Which are writing, and writing. Now, I've mentioned how the show was forced to be non-edgy out of the fear of censorship and all that, whereas real college life is nothing but that edge. How would I have changed things? No idea. I would definitely have been a force for it's edginess, to keep recycling a word, and I would have thought about taking the Arrested Development approach of cleverness and double/triple meanings - though that would be risky, as the target audience for the show was too young to really get such jokes.<br />
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Nevertheless, not only was the series a very small project (without a large need for external writers), but it was too short lived <i>and</i> before my time.<br />
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Speaking of...<br />
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<b>#4: Arrested Development</b><br />
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Another series <a href="http://rambleaboutwriting.blogspot.com/2012/07/why-i-love-arrested-development-as.html">I've talked about</a>! What are the odds?<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">geektyrant.com</td></tr>
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<br /><br />Here's the thing that made Arrested Development so awesome: Its humor was character driven, but also driven by the writers' distinct ability to talk about absolutely and totally forbidden topics on a major prime-time network...And get away with it. They did this through both blunt-but-not-over reaching jokes, like how Tobias is an Analyst + Therapist. Making him an Analrapist. Then there's more subtle times, like when Tobias believes his children are heavily into leather clothing, so he goes to a store and asks if there's anything that would make him a "Leather Daddy."<br /><br />Insert every "Tobias Is Gay" joke out there.<br />
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Working on Arrested would have been awesome. Considering it's coming back, well, there -is- a very minor chance I'll get on it! Unfortunately, they're already filming, so it'd have to involve a time machine.<br />
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<b>#3: Moral Orel</b><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">AOLtv</td></tr>
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Moral Orel is just one of those shows waiting to have a "Cancelled Before Prime Time" article. It's the first of two Adult Swim shows on this list, surprise surprise, and why is Orel on here?<br />
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Because Orel is about as gritty a drama as you can get in the world of Claymation, with dark humor and serious social commentary all wrapped into one. Robot Chicken, similar in visual style, is much more light-hearted, and considering the number of gruesome deaths on that show? That's saying something. Moral Orel doesn't <i>need</i> death to be bleak.<br />
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The upshot is that there is apparently a made-for-TV movie in the works for Moral Orel, but its cancellation after three seasons (with the absolutely depressing trimming of the final season, to boot) just served as an honestly crushing blow. So, chances are, I'm not workin' on this, either. But let me tell you - if you haven't, you need to watch Season 3. Shortened as it is, it's one of the finest seasons of TV I've ever seen in any medium, ever.<br />
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<b>#2: The Venture Brothers</b><br />
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Okay. This one...Is probably the only one I'd ever have any shot of getting in, mainly because it's the only one still being actively, aggressively produced. Unfortunately, it's also way too high profile for a TV newbie like me!<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://sharetv.org/images/the_venture_bros-show.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://sharetv.org/images/the_venture_bros-show.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sharetv.org</td></tr>
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Where do I really begin? Well, with it's beginning. Venture Brothers really started as sort of a spoof show, a parody of the old Johnny Quest TV show. As it grew into its own production halfway through the first season, however, character complexity took center stage. No longer was it just about whatever random adventure Rusty happened to be on; it became about the state of The Monarch's relationship with Dr. Girlfriend. It became about Hank and Dean growing up and, in time, becoming more than just tag-along nuisances.<br />
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It became its own show.<br />
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With this Adult Swim show having suffered from production troubles due to a company going under, the stage is quickly being set for a fifth series. It will be awesome, because it's production is in the hands of people who truly care about it.<br />
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<b>#1: Xenogears</b><br />
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Oh yes, I said it. A video game. Not a TV show, not a comic book, not a novel project; a Playstation One game. And I'm going to show the very first scene which will explain why...<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.blogcdn.com/www.joystiq.com/media/2012/01/xenogears7vr.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://www.blogcdn.com/www.joystiq.com/media/2012/01/xenogears7vr.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Joystiq.com</td></tr>
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In case you're wondering, yes; this game very nearly got banned from the United States for scenes like that one. It's plot is somewhere between a scathing Biblical launch-point, an episode of Mobile Suit Gundam, a Final Fantasy game (It's made by Square), and an awesome psychology lesson. I don't want to spoil things because, frankly, the game'll do that in due time if you can pick up a copy, but here are some highlights...<br />
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- Umpteen years ago, a space-craft crashed on Earth.<br />
- Your protagonist pilots a giant robot of destruction.<br />
- Battles between sand-submarines.<br />
- UFOs.<br />
- Religious iconography that's powerful and creative.<br />
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The biggest weakness Xenogears had was that it didn't get perfectly translated when it came to the U.S.. That, and sometimes dungeons can get a bit long-in-the-tooth, with old-school random encounters that today seem to only get in the way of a story...Except that typical RPGs of today are nothing but story broken up by bits of tutorial mode.<br />
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I would have loved to work on this project, if for no other reason than to provide an extra degree of precision on the final product. Any translation runs some risks, but Xenogears - with its dialogue-heavy plot - ended up very well, despite not attaining perfection.<br />
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Oh well. That's what Perfect Works is for.Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-246299609355348213.post-57659839796906113272012-09-28T20:12:00.001-07:002012-09-28T20:12:42.255-07:00How To Use Verbs; Verbing; VerbosityThis is a problem that comes often when someone is writing: There's an action going on in whatever it is that's on paper, and you (the author) have no idea how to explain it. For example, your protagonist is going out to Mc'Donalds, but you've already used that phrase twice. Repetition can be a serious problem in a story, so you need a better way for them to explain their plan to their friends, other than "Going out to McDonalds."<br />
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"I'm on a McRun," the hero says, dashing off to get his fries.<br />
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A second character responds, "Wait! What's McRunning?!"<br />
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And you, the author, are left saying, "Huh."<br />
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Verbs, as we should know through reading my old <a href="http://rambleaboutwriting.blogspot.com/2012/08/new-infographic-parts-of-speech.html">Parts of Speech Infographic</a>, are "action words." They describe what people, characters, what-have-you are doing. "Drive" is a popular example. "Describe" could be another. These are things that we do. But using them in an appropriate, effective manner is another story entirely.<br />
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Sometimes, a verb can stand alone. "Running" can serve as a classification of a hobby; people like "running," and regularly use it as a Google search. Sometimes you just need to use good adverbs. Adverbs are words used to better describe a verb. Let's take, as a simple example, "He drove expertly."<br />
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"He" is a noun; "drove" is the past-tense of "drive," so it's our verb in this short sentence; "expertly" describes how this random guy drives. A reader will know, therefore, that "he" is an expert driver. Of course, you could nit-pick something this isolated-in-the-void (void-dwelling, perhaps?) down - "He drove expertly" implies that in at least one incident, said "he" happened to indeed seem like an amazing wheelman, but that this past incident might well have been a lucky shot and...<br />
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...Wait, what just happened? I just found another way to explain "he drove expertly," while simultaneously mocking that very phrase! Words are like that; they have connotations as well as denotations - they have interpreted meanings which can differ from their literal ones. A "Wheel Man" sounds like a beast from a video game; a "wheelman" is an ace driver. Of course, the term "wheelman" is also often used in crime stories, to refer to the guy who drives the vehicle and must, therefore, drive expertly. And in-so-far as being something can be being that verb, being a "wheelman" is something you always are; "wheelmanning," or "manning the wheel" is what you sometimes do...<br />
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Maybe we need another example.<br />
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<b>Let's look at "Blogger."</b><br />
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A "Blogger" is someone who "Blogs." A "Blog" is...Well, <i>this</i> is a blog, but that doesn't explain much! <i>This</i> is more like a place for some crazy word-ninja to write down random ideas at 11:00 PM! In all seriousness, though, a "blog" is basically a journal where an author writes up and distributes articles. With me so far? And I have <i>no</i> idea how the word "blog" got started - I'm sure there's a good reason, I just don't know it off-hand and I don't feel like researching it. Call me lazy.<br />
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What I do know is that the authors of a "Blog" were immediately "verbed," with their writing suddenly referred to as "Blogging." "Bloggers" was a natural evolution; it's simply someone who "Blogs," which is the act of "Blogging." But if you look wayyyy up at the top of your address bar, you'll notice that this website is a .blogspot website - a spot for blogs, right? Yes - and no! For "Blogspot" is actually a Google-owned sub-company called "<a href="http://www.blogger.com/">Blogger</a>."<br />
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I am, now, a blogger. I write blog posts. I write entire blogs! Yet I am <i>not</i> Blogger, the service.<br />
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You will notice, by now, that I seem to be going off on tangents a lot. You might even have noticed that this blog entry's title begins with "How To Use Verbs." It does <i>not</i> say the following...<br />
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<b>How to Use Verbs <i>Effectively</i></b><br />
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The reason why I've waited until now to "get serious" is that, frankly, writing is about timing. The first thing this rule implies is that everyone has their own timing; when timing differs between writer and reader, there can be a dissonance which can make the writer's work hard to read - if not render it altogether intolerable!<br />
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More importantly, however, is the fact that timing means knowing which verb to use, when, and how. A lot of times this is simply technical; to write, as a sentence, "Next, the computer activated" is entirely mysterious. Does the computer activate on its own? How? Is it artificially intelligent? It's just a lot of questions, and if there aren't any immediate answers, readers will start to sense that aforementioned dissonance. They will get lost. Instead...<br />
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"Next, Bob activated the computer." Now we know that Bob is involved in this picture, and that he activated the computer. Suddenly a reader has an idea of what's going on. But how did Bob activate it? Did he just tap an on switch? Or, like a movie hero, did he turn it on <i>with his mind</i>? Maybe that sentence needs a little more work. Let's step up our game!<br />
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"Next, Bob knelt down and plugged in the old computer tower; it roared to life, courtesy of its creaky fans which discourteously spat dust back into Bob's face."<br />
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Wow. So now we have a real clear picture of this Bob Plus Computer shindig. His motivations are unclear, and while one might make inferences (he's searching for an ancient file!), that's for another sentence to explain. From what's written in this example, you can see that by sprucing up the diction (word-choice) and adding a hint of complexity, we've actually taken a lot of the guess-work out of what's going on. We <i>know</i> that Bob plugged in the computer. We <i>know</i> its old. We <i>know</i> Bob physically had to do things, and we <i>know</i> Bob isn't gonna be happy about all that dust in his face.<br />
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All in all, I only wrote this article because I was curious what my take on an article about verbs would be. I've never really written one before, and here we have it! It's not scholarly, it's hardly serious, but it has a point it's trying to get across. Hopefully you'll agree that a point was made.<br />
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<b>Shameless self-promotion</b><br />
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And, hey, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Physics-Incarnate-Jesse-Pohlman/dp/0615591566">if you like my style, buy my book</a>!Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-246299609355348213.post-49136363869764809022012-09-15T10:31:00.002-07:002012-09-15T10:42:55.590-07:00Cancelled Before Prime Time: FireflyWelcome to our third installment of the "Cancelled Before Prime Time" series! As <a href="http://rambleaboutwriting.blogspot.com/2012/09/cancelled-before-prime-time-city-of.html">I mentioned previously</a>, Summer Glau has an unfortunate lot in life; she's talented, but when she pops up in a show it tends to go the way of the dodo. I felt it only fitting to explore the first of many such series - Firefly!<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.enchantedlearning.com/fgifs/Firefly_bw.GIF" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www.enchantedlearning.com/fgifs/Firefly_bw.GIF" width="299" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image from Enchantedlearning.com</td></tr>
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No! Not <b>that</b> firefly! <b>This</b> firefly!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51734pRq2+L._SL500_AA300_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51734pRq2+L._SL500_AA300_.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image from Amazon.com</td></tr>
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Firefly debuted on Fox on September 20th. It lasted until December 20th. That's right, folks - Firefly only had a grand total of fourteen episodes produced. Not all of them aired. But enough <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firefly_(TV_series)">spouting on about the Wikipedia article's bottom-of-the-barrel facts</a>, lets...Yammer on about more facts, actually.<br />
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Joss Whedon. There, I've said it. This man has serious hit-or-miss potential. In the late nineties he created a tiny little movie-and-TV-show called Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Y'might have heard of it. It had a spinoff series as well as an "expanded universe," I.E. comics and the like. No big deal, right? Well, here's the trick: Whedon's huge hits have always been betrayed by his, ahhh, smaller ones. Firefly? Smaller one. Oh, it's a really good series! But it's not Buffy. Dollhouse is one of his most recent TV productions, and it didn't do so great (it also had some Summer Glau in it), but what came right after that? The Avengers, that's what.<br />
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So Whedon goes from up to down faster than a manic depressive switching off between methamphetamines and booze. And that'll be our offensive joke quota for this section of this article. Let's look at character development.<br />
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<b>The Souls Aboard the Serenity</b><br />
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In a startling departure from the ordinary "Name your series after a character or object in it" policy, Firefly is not the name of the starship carrying our protagonists around. It's just the model; the actual vessel is called Serenity, and it's named (of course!) after a battle that our hero, Malcolm Reynolds (played by <b>the</b> Nathan Fillion) fought in and lost.<br />
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Serenity isn't a warship like the Death Star or a peaceful-but-deadly vessel like the Enterprise. It's a small but resilient little transport ship. That'd be fine enough, but it's inhabitants take Serenity on all sorts of crazy adventures. There's an overarching space empire called The Alliance, which Mal's side fought against and lost to, and their grasp on their frontier territory is, well, exactly as great as a historian would imagine it to be. There's also weird, half-legendary half-people called Reavers, who are crazy and barbaric and so therefore terrorize the fringes of Alliance space. See: The Native Americans (not the real ones, of course,<a href="http://suite101.com/article/skewed-understanding-a21688"> but the mythical version</a>). So the Serenity's staff zips across the galaxy and transports priests as well as illegal contraband.<br />
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Malcolm himself is the heart-and-soul of his ship. He's incredibly loyal to his friends, an unusual trait among outlaws but one that keeps Serenity's crew from dying, like, every episode. There's Kaylee, a nice girl who is cute, quirky, and in charge of keeping the ship's engines running. You've got your stoic second-in-command Zoe, a soldier who fought under Mal's command; she's married to Wash, your kooky pilot who fears the relationship the two old friends have...Waiiiitttt! Why am I starting to sense stereotyped characters, here? It's almost as if this is a spaghetti western! Next you'll be telling me there's a priest who happens to have awesome skills with a gun and...<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.animecrazy.net/forums/members/u17046/echota92-albums-general-anime-picture12666-wolfwood.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="216" src="http://www.animecrazy.net/forums/members/u17046/echota92-albums-general-anime-picture12666-wolfwood.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image courtesy of Animecrazy.net</td></tr>
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...No! Not him! There is, however, Shepard Book; one of my favorite characters, he's a man who clearly has a history with the Alliance but has renounced his old life in favor of peace...Save that he's trapped in Serenity's hi-jinx and, furthermore, that we never get a really good explanation of what that past is.<br />
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See, this is the problem Firefly might have come across. Many of its characters were reincarnations of old western themes with a space-faring twist on them, and that's great! Hell, I genuinely loved many of the characters who fit those very stereotypes! But it <i>might</i> have led to some viewers tuning out, saying "I've already seen this flick, only with horses," and moving on.<br />
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Where Firefly really broke with tradition was with the Tams. Simon is a mild-mannered medical-genius prototype, just innocuously impressive enough to have a nasty little backstory all to himself. It's revealed in episode one, when he's found to be carrying around a rather naked Summer Glau - his sister, River. She's your "crazy, broken girl psychic" character, which I don't really remember being anywhere in the old westerns. Anyway, she's a secret Alliance weapon of dubious nature, and her presence is a constant thorn in Mal's side.<br />
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There's also Jayne, the mercenary; Inara, the companion; "Saffron," a con artist who marries her marks, and other characters who are all awesome in their own rights, but not exactly the most original characters on the block.<br />
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<b>Where Firefly Fell, Serenity Soared</b><br />
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As I mentioned earlier, maybe it was just that it felt like a rehash of a western to some people, but Firefly wasn't all that successful. For a major network like Fox (who, you'll see, is a recurring villain in my series on cancelled projects), an average of 4.7 million viewers per episode <i>just</i> wasn't enough. It got the 'ol axe. This didn't make those, y'know, millions of fans very happy - they launched all sorts of crusades.<br />
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In 2005, to shut up the aforementioned fans, a movie was slapped together, fittingly enough called "Serenity." It's box office just about made back it's costs-of-production, while <a href="http://www.nasa.gov/externalflash/name_ISS/index.html">Node 3 of the International Space Station was almost named "Serenity," probably after this series</a>. Of course, the official poll was discarded and the name "Colbert" almost won it as well, so maybe that's <i>not</i> such a great sign to look toward...<br />
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...Anyway! Serenity sold well enough to break even, but that doesn't get movie sequels. On the other hand, there's a whole expanded universe - <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firefly_media_franchise">comics, novels, and even a roleplaying game</a>! For hardcore fans, some of these products might well be worth looking into, as might the fan-created sequel, <a href="http://browncoatsmovie.com/">Browncoats: Redemption</a>.<br />
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When it comes to an autopsy, however, there's really no reason at all why Firefly died; other than, perhaps, due to low ratings. It's story was largely unexplored, but with eleven aired episodes (and fourteen produced, including one of it's best), the fact is that the series was never even given a chance. 4.7 million viewers really isn't that bad an average; but ten years ago "Reality TV" was starting to make it big, and perhaps that's the greatest lesson to be drawn from Firefly:<br />
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Great writing and development are little match for low-cost production.<br />
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<b>Shameless Self-Promotion!</b><br />
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Wow. That doesn't speak well for my chances as a writer; but, hey, you could always <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Physics-Incarnate-Jesse-Pohlman/dp/0615591566/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1347730188&sr=8-1&keywords=Jesse+Pohlman">check out my latest novel and see if ya like it</a>!Jesse Pohlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09788099108270458502noreply@blogger.com0